Apparently, for the past months I’ve started becoming a Moroccan. This is something that I didn’t notice and didn’t realize but I was rather told that by others. After careful consideration and being a bit surprised I had to agree with this statement.
Remember this post? I wrote that I was not very much into discovering new cultures anymore. Now, from the time perspective I think I can already say that the period when I wrote it (starting in the mid of November and lasting until I changed my flat almost a month ago) was the period of my "overseas depression". Maybe depression is too strong word but at that time I was just fed up with Morocco in many aspects and I didn’t mind leaving. Actually, I was even sort of trapped. I knew leaving for Poland would not be a solution (I am afraid of reintegration shock and all these kind of difficulties) and leaving for any other country would not be good either (I was just afraid of getting into even worse conditions). Now this period is gone.
But to the point! Once my friend told me “Kamil , I really think you are very adapted and integrated with the society. I know many foreigners who simply cannot be like you”. “Why do you think so?” I asked. “ I don’t know. For example, you always take bus and almost always you’re the only foreigner on the bus” he replied. “God! I take the buses mostly because I can’t afford going by taxis everyday. This is not the proof of me being integrated” I thought. Recently, I’ve also started buying a lot of harsha (it’s something between bread and cake I would say). But this is also because of money. I don’t mind eating at cheap places where I am almost often the only foreigner (lack of money again). But I’ve noticed that I feel very comfortable in such places and enjoy talking to people (and in this case, money is not applicable anymore).
I also moved from a rich and quite westernized district to a poorer one and more traditional one. I thought I wouldn’t like it but actually I don’t mind (ok I admit! I even enjoy living in this environment). Once I spend my day with some Moroccan friends and one of them told me he felt with me as if he were with a Moroccan. I cross street like a Moroccan (not being afraid of the crazy traffic), I look very self confident on the street, I walk alone, I eat on the streets or on the buses. I talk to random people. I use more and more Arabic words instead of English or French ones. I become guide for other foreigners. I pick up the trainees from the airport/train station. The most exciting thing I did was hitting the back door of the bus to signalize the driver to stop to get off (since there are no buttons for a request stop). Before I had noticed some Moroccans doing that and looking a bit aggressively and one time I was very happy to follow this behavioral pattern. I started hitting the door and of course the bus stopped.
I’ve also acquired some negative qualities. I have the Moroccan concept of time. I usually don’t care when I’m not on time. Usually, no one is one time and nobody makes a big deal about it. I would say also that looking through Polish reality I don’t work so much here. But it looks different when you judge me through Moroccan reality. Although I don’t feel I’m overworked people here usually say I do a very good job.
Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder if moving here for good would be possible for me. The fact that I think about it means that I may consider that so it’s already a big thing. Hopefully, I don’t need take any decisions right now or in the next months so the time will show.
Well, all these things I wrote about are very relative so it’s only up to you whether you agree with me or not. Sometimes I really wish I had a magic tool to measure all the changes that international experience had made on me… I sometimes can’t wait to go back to Poland only to see how much I changed (realizing that myself and hearing from other people) because of the year in this country.
Whatever happens, wherever I end up living, Morocco will always be a very special place to me. It is going to be my second home where I will keep returning all my life.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
from zero to hero
Whenever a team or a group in AIESEC starts their work they always begin with creating vision of what they want to see at the end of their activities, setting goals of the project / team (including personal goals of the members), team objectives, team image, team rules etc. Depending on the scale there may be more items or steps.
You may be confused why I started this post with the introduction above. I will get back to this thought later.
Besides my role as VP Finance here at AIESEC in Morocco which involves general development of financial subsystem I am also the LC coach. For those who don’t understand this role – I am responsible for the development and support of the local office of AIESEC in Casablanca. LC Anfa (this is the name of the office in Casa) is the youngest LC at AIESEC in Morocco. It was open in 2005 and from that time the previous national offices (I am the member of the national office a.k.a. National Committee or Member Committee) had done literally nothing to support LC Anfa. My team decided that we had to change the status quo and finally move the LC forward. So just before going for International Congress to Turkey I became the MC responsible for this LC (a.k.a. LC coach).
In September, me and LCP (Local Committee President – Younes, the head of the local office) had our first meeting and a few days later the national staff and him met to design the 6 month action plan in order to build the basics of the LC. I remember when someone said that we need to do some thing “from zero” (I truly don’t remember what exactly it was but to be honest it could be anything because at that point almost everything was at the zero level) and then another person added “to hero”. And this is how we came up with the LC Anfa motto - “from zero to hero!” As I said at the beginning some teams prepare such mottos on purpose thinking on it deeply for long time. We did it unconsciously and spontaneously.
Right now, we are definitely closer to hero than to zero! I am very happy to say that. For the past few months, loads of work have been done in order to push the LC forward. I did my best but it is not me who should be praised whatsoever. The applause should be directed to the wonderful EB team (the team leading the office) driven by unquestionable leader – Younes (a.k.a. Papito). When I first saw him in June 2007 I didn’t notice the big potential and I only had the impression that he was a very shy and reserved person. “Is he able to lead the Local Committee?” - I doubted. At the IC in Turkey my worldview was challenged. I saw the other face of Papito. Throughout the year and the time of my work with him I have only got convinced that he is the right person doing the right activity. In October, he was joined by three other great individuals who work with him on the overall development of LC Anfa.
I am really proud of all of them and happy for them. Being their coach is not only having this wonderful feeling of contribution to development of others. It also means coming to my lovely Casablanca more often :)
The Executive Board 2007 / 2008 of Local Committee Anfa:
(from the right)
(standing) Younes Talioua (Local Committee President), Othmane Jaafar (Vice President Talent Management)
(sitting) Yasmine Oualhadj (Vice President External Relations), Sara Osman (Vice President Exchange)
You may be confused why I started this post with the introduction above. I will get back to this thought later.
Besides my role as VP Finance here at AIESEC in Morocco which involves general development of financial subsystem I am also the LC coach. For those who don’t understand this role – I am responsible for the development and support of the local office of AIESEC in Casablanca. LC Anfa (this is the name of the office in Casa) is the youngest LC at AIESEC in Morocco. It was open in 2005 and from that time the previous national offices (I am the member of the national office a.k.a. National Committee or Member Committee) had done literally nothing to support LC Anfa. My team decided that we had to change the status quo and finally move the LC forward. So just before going for International Congress to Turkey I became the MC responsible for this LC (a.k.a. LC coach).
In September, me and LCP (Local Committee President – Younes, the head of the local office) had our first meeting and a few days later the national staff and him met to design the 6 month action plan in order to build the basics of the LC. I remember when someone said that we need to do some thing “from zero” (I truly don’t remember what exactly it was but to be honest it could be anything because at that point almost everything was at the zero level) and then another person added “to hero”. And this is how we came up with the LC Anfa motto - “from zero to hero!” As I said at the beginning some teams prepare such mottos on purpose thinking on it deeply for long time. We did it unconsciously and spontaneously.
Right now, we are definitely closer to hero than to zero! I am very happy to say that. For the past few months, loads of work have been done in order to push the LC forward. I did my best but it is not me who should be praised whatsoever. The applause should be directed to the wonderful EB team (the team leading the office) driven by unquestionable leader – Younes (a.k.a. Papito). When I first saw him in June 2007 I didn’t notice the big potential and I only had the impression that he was a very shy and reserved person. “Is he able to lead the Local Committee?” - I doubted. At the IC in Turkey my worldview was challenged. I saw the other face of Papito. Throughout the year and the time of my work with him I have only got convinced that he is the right person doing the right activity. In October, he was joined by three other great individuals who work with him on the overall development of LC Anfa.
I am really proud of all of them and happy for them. Being their coach is not only having this wonderful feeling of contribution to development of others. It also means coming to my lovely Casablanca more often :)
The Executive Board 2007 / 2008 of Local Committee Anfa:
(from the right)
(standing) Younes Talioua (Local Committee President), Othmane Jaafar (Vice President Talent Management)
(sitting) Yasmine Oualhadj (Vice President External Relations), Sara Osman (Vice President Exchange)
Monday, February 25, 2008
"Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself"
Last night, I saw "The Hours" – one of my favorite movies ever. I’ve seen it four or five times over the past years and for sure last night was not the last time. I watch it from time to time.
It’s so deep and intense. It’s about being loved and being unable to love back. It’s about not understanding the world and yourself especially. It’s about being lonely among a lot of people that truly care about you. It’s about being stuck and not able to breath. It’s about getting insane although you are in the middle of undergoing the treatment against this state.. It’s about the desire to live although it’s not possible to make it come true. It’s about having everything but feeling like having nothing. It’s about not being understood. It’s about desperately trying to live the way you want to live – not the way you are supposed to live. It’s about trying hard but all the time failing. It’s about lack of hope. It’s about the death and the life. It’s about wanting to be free. It’s about having to live. It’s about facing the hours of silence.
This is such a powerful movie. It’s very sad and even depressing but actually last night when I saw it I discovered the positive ray it has in itself. One of the person has to die so that others will understand to value their lives more. And so it happens at the end.
Anyway, you may seem I am a freak but I do like to dive into atmosphere of this movie. It shows the things I am afraid of in my life. It shows the things I never want to have or those that I want to escape. By watching it I seem so dangerously close to them which is kind of thrilling. Don’t worry. It’s not a self-destructive instinct. I still believe in the power of the secret :) And even if you don’t like the movie you will be amazed by Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and the music by Philip Glass.
Instead of enjoy it I will rather wish you – contemplate it!
It’s so deep and intense. It’s about being loved and being unable to love back. It’s about not understanding the world and yourself especially. It’s about being lonely among a lot of people that truly care about you. It’s about being stuck and not able to breath. It’s about getting insane although you are in the middle of undergoing the treatment against this state.. It’s about the desire to live although it’s not possible to make it come true. It’s about having everything but feeling like having nothing. It’s about not being understood. It’s about desperately trying to live the way you want to live – not the way you are supposed to live. It’s about trying hard but all the time failing. It’s about lack of hope. It’s about the death and the life. It’s about wanting to be free. It’s about having to live. It’s about facing the hours of silence.
This is such a powerful movie. It’s very sad and even depressing but actually last night when I saw it I discovered the positive ray it has in itself. One of the person has to die so that others will understand to value their lives more. And so it happens at the end.
Anyway, you may seem I am a freak but I do like to dive into atmosphere of this movie. It shows the things I am afraid of in my life. It shows the things I never want to have or those that I want to escape. By watching it I seem so dangerously close to them which is kind of thrilling. Don’t worry. It’s not a self-destructive instinct. I still believe in the power of the secret :) And even if you don’t like the movie you will be amazed by Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and the music by Philip Glass.
Instead of enjoy it I will rather wish you – contemplate it!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
life is a movie
I wrote many times about the incredibility of experience I had been having in Morocco. Suddenly, my life became much more interesting than ever before. With all these stories, I could write a good movie – a comedy, a drama, a romantic comedy and of course a romance movie with big loves and big disappointments…
Because of the experience of the last few days, I could add another kind of a movie – a detective story with the atmosphere of Agatha Christie’s books. A few days ago, me and my friends were sitting together in a circle trying to figure out who of us had stolen the money and the wallet belonging to three of us (three victims out of which two had lost only some money and the third person had lost her wallet with a lot of money and a lot of documents, credit cards and even the residence card) and then put it (the wallet without the money) to the gas shelve/box outside the house just near the balcony door. We went through the luggage of each of us before but didn’t find anything. We didn’t know who was the thief but we were sure the person was among us. It was like playing mafia. It was a game of suspicious looks that were trying to track every single weird behavior… Then we pointed the person who was suspected almost by everyone (because of acting really strangely). We only heard denials… We didn’t have any strong evidence against the person. No one saw him stealing anything. We had only small details that gave a big but not full picture of the case. We asked a lot of questions and heard a lot of answers that didn’t convince us. The problem is that we may be wrong. We may be accusing the wrong person. We are not 100% sure. We will never know.
So how am I supposed to behave towards this person? Should I trust him? Even if I take into consideration the fact that it might be someone else and he is innocent… Whenever I see him, I will always think whether he did it or not. I will never be sure. And these doubts are really driving me crazy.
Everything would be much easier and I would not care at all if not two small details:
1) I was one of the victims
2) He is my only flat mate
Because of the experience of the last few days, I could add another kind of a movie – a detective story with the atmosphere of Agatha Christie’s books. A few days ago, me and my friends were sitting together in a circle trying to figure out who of us had stolen the money and the wallet belonging to three of us (three victims out of which two had lost only some money and the third person had lost her wallet with a lot of money and a lot of documents, credit cards and even the residence card) and then put it (the wallet without the money) to the gas shelve/box outside the house just near the balcony door. We went through the luggage of each of us before but didn’t find anything. We didn’t know who was the thief but we were sure the person was among us. It was like playing mafia. It was a game of suspicious looks that were trying to track every single weird behavior… Then we pointed the person who was suspected almost by everyone (because of acting really strangely). We only heard denials… We didn’t have any strong evidence against the person. No one saw him stealing anything. We had only small details that gave a big but not full picture of the case. We asked a lot of questions and heard a lot of answers that didn’t convince us. The problem is that we may be wrong. We may be accusing the wrong person. We are not 100% sure. We will never know.
So how am I supposed to behave towards this person? Should I trust him? Even if I take into consideration the fact that it might be someone else and he is innocent… Whenever I see him, I will always think whether he did it or not. I will never be sure. And these doubts are really driving me crazy.
Everything would be much easier and I would not care at all if not two small details:
1) I was one of the victims
2) He is my only flat mate
La Ville Rouge – part trois
The previous post saying about the trip to Marrakesh was started last week before the trip but I only finished and published it today.
I came back from Marrakesh on Sunday/Monday night. The trip was amazing. We (AIESECers, interns, alumni and some non-AIESEC people) stayed in a marvelous hotel for which we didn’t pay anything (may these networks last forever). We spent great time on Jamaa El Fna square – one of the most incredible city squares I have ever seen. We ate delicious food and drove within the red houses, villas and palms of Marrakesh. We enjoyed the time together, drinking, smoking, laughing almost to death – I mean laughing to death, not smoking or drinking :) And the most important – we swam in the fabulous swimming pool. God! That was such a great time… See my pictures on Facebook or picasa. I’m not saying anything anymore. Recently, I’ve been mean enough boasting about this trip and I think it’s too much :) I wish you all could have such a great time!
one day in Rabat
I woke up today and took a shower. Then I left home and went to buy some food for breakfast. I went to the same shop as usually, said “salaam aleykum” (“hello” in Arabic) and the lady smiled seeing me and hearing that. It’s funny because we have sort of connection although she even doesn’t speak French. I said “shoukran” (thank you) and went to another shop to buy my favorite avocado yoghurt. There was a guy sitting and eating something so I said “bshaa” (bon appetit). The shopkeeper heard that and was kind of surprised. Of course as always he was very nice. And so were other people that I passed on the street even though sometimes they were starring at me with curiosity (probably seeing a foreigner in this homogeneously Moroccan neighborhood).
I went to my office and met some Moroccan friends. This weekend I am going to Marrakesh where I will have some clubbing, drinking, swimming in the pool and having great time with my Moroccan friends and other expats (friends as well). Before I arrived in Morocco I had never expected this kind of wild parties that I would have here. Clubs are really amazing here. Parties are crazier than anything I ever experienced in Poland…
There is more exciting things. There are normal and boring things as well. There are things you will not be able to find elsewhere and there are things that you will find everywhere. In this case (the uniqueness and lack of uniqueness of Morocco) it’s just like any country in the world which is unique and ordinary at the same time.
And for your information – if you wonder what is the purpose of this post I’m telling you this right now. I hope after reading it now you will be more aware that Morocco is just a country like others. And especially when you compare it with what you can hear in the news in media nowadays – those pieces of news that only say about terrorists’ attacks or terrorists and link them with Muslim countries. I don’t deny it but what I want to say is that Muslim countries has much more faces than the terrorist one. I’ve been discovering a lot of these faces for the past almost 9 months. And believe me! Some of them are fabulous!
I went to my office and met some Moroccan friends. This weekend I am going to Marrakesh where I will have some clubbing, drinking, swimming in the pool and having great time with my Moroccan friends and other expats (friends as well). Before I arrived in Morocco I had never expected this kind of wild parties that I would have here. Clubs are really amazing here. Parties are crazier than anything I ever experienced in Poland…
There is more exciting things. There are normal and boring things as well. There are things you will not be able to find elsewhere and there are things that you will find everywhere. In this case (the uniqueness and lack of uniqueness of Morocco) it’s just like any country in the world which is unique and ordinary at the same time.
And for your information – if you wonder what is the purpose of this post I’m telling you this right now. I hope after reading it now you will be more aware that Morocco is just a country like others. And especially when you compare it with what you can hear in the news in media nowadays – those pieces of news that only say about terrorists’ attacks or terrorists and link them with Muslim countries. I don’t deny it but what I want to say is that Muslim countries has much more faces than the terrorist one. I’ve been discovering a lot of these faces for the past almost 9 months. And believe me! Some of them are fabulous!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
experience restarted!
If you look up at my Morocco counter it will show 250 days since I got here. Less than 5 months to leave. Crazy? Unbelievable?? Yes, it is! Almost 2/3 of my stay here have already passed.
However, somehow the last 2-3 months were weird. I felt kind of weird and unhappy... I was complaining a lot and people were only asking me what I was still doing in Morocco. With such complaints I should be going back home...
I was trying to figure out what factor is responsible for my bad mood:
-is the fact that I lost money in France (fuck the strikes!), then was robbed in Spain and in consequence I was suffering from 4€ expenses per day limit?
-was it because of the empty flat I was living in? 4 bedrooms, huge living room and lots of other facilities just for 2 people? It was like a castle and all the good summer memories related to the apartment just vanished.
-was it because of the one month insecurity because of changing the flat? Then disappointment because of not living in the place where I was supposed to and with whom I was supposed to? Because of being almost alone to clean the old apartment of things left by ex trainees of the past 3 years? Because of moving to a flat with cockroaches and Turkish toilet instead of a very modern one?
-was it because of the break up in December?
-or finally because of the fact that "I'm a total neurotic. One minute I can be walking down the street totally happy and the next minute I'm depressed for no reason"?
Anyway, I hope it's not just the good mood of these days. I hope it's a permanent change. Maybe it's my positive attitude because of the secret? I feel much better. Also, my financial problems are a bit smaller and I have a new flat.
I guess that looking at the list above it was the old flat that kept keeping my mood so bad. Now, I live in another place with a very cool flat mate, close to the office and I have a TV. Yesterday, I was just lying down on the coach and watching some French channel. It was so relaxing. I feel so much better... Even killing cockroaches is like a fun :) Or fixing the problem with shower was the most hilarious thing that I went through.
All of that made me feel a bit as if my Morocco counter had been restarted. Again, I feel as if it was just the beginning of my experience here. As if everything was starting once more. Of course, nothing will be as it was in June 2007 but somehow these days remind of that times. And once again, I have the feeling that it's going to be hard for me to leave Morocco and go to other country even if I find the best internship ever. I will just miss this amazing year of my life. I'm so happy to again enjoy my restarted experience!
However, somehow the last 2-3 months were weird. I felt kind of weird and unhappy... I was complaining a lot and people were only asking me what I was still doing in Morocco. With such complaints I should be going back home...
I was trying to figure out what factor is responsible for my bad mood:
-is the fact that I lost money in France (fuck the strikes!), then was robbed in Spain and in consequence I was suffering from 4€ expenses per day limit?
-was it because of the empty flat I was living in? 4 bedrooms, huge living room and lots of other facilities just for 2 people? It was like a castle and all the good summer memories related to the apartment just vanished.
-was it because of the one month insecurity because of changing the flat? Then disappointment because of not living in the place where I was supposed to and with whom I was supposed to? Because of being almost alone to clean the old apartment of things left by ex trainees of the past 3 years? Because of moving to a flat with cockroaches and Turkish toilet instead of a very modern one?
-was it because of the break up in December?
-or finally because of the fact that "I'm a total neurotic. One minute I can be walking down the street totally happy and the next minute I'm depressed for no reason"?
Anyway, I hope it's not just the good mood of these days. I hope it's a permanent change. Maybe it's my positive attitude because of the secret? I feel much better. Also, my financial problems are a bit smaller and I have a new flat.
I guess that looking at the list above it was the old flat that kept keeping my mood so bad. Now, I live in another place with a very cool flat mate, close to the office and I have a TV. Yesterday, I was just lying down on the coach and watching some French channel. It was so relaxing. I feel so much better... Even killing cockroaches is like a fun :) Or fixing the problem with shower was the most hilarious thing that I went through.
All of that made me feel a bit as if my Morocco counter had been restarted. Again, I feel as if it was just the beginning of my experience here. As if everything was starting once more. Of course, nothing will be as it was in June 2007 but somehow these days remind of that times. And once again, I have the feeling that it's going to be hard for me to leave Morocco and go to other country even if I find the best internship ever. I will just miss this amazing year of my life. I'm so happy to again enjoy my restarted experience!
people – part six (cold North vs. hot South)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
the secret
"Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming".
"You create your own universe as you go along".
"You don't have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step".
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought".
"When you visualize then you materialize".
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions".
"Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve".
"You are the only one who creates your reality".
"What you resist persists".
"All power is from within and is therefore under our own control".
"Whether you think you can or you can't either way you are right".
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls".
Yesterday, I saw the movie "The Secret". The quotes above are taken from this movie. As you can see, it shows that whatever you wish, you desire, you want can be yours if only you truly and positively believe in that. The more you think about something the more likely it is to happen.
A few posts ago, I said that my intuition told me a lot recently and I didn't let me down. I anticipated some things. But now, I started to wonder if maybe I somehow made them happen subconsciously. I was trying to avoid them so much that paradoxically I anticipated them....
Anyway, I promise I will start thinking positively and as well doing the affirmations. I know about affirmations not only from this movie but also from Covey's books. If you want something (e.g. success) start visualizing it in your mind. If success for you is a lot of money begin thinking that you already have it. Feel it in your hand. Start thinking how you will spend it.
I truly believe in that. See the movie to know more.
See how I've materialized my visualizations of my happy life:
friends, family, great job, great hobbies, money, material and spiritual things...
Now you know the secret... :)
"You create your own universe as you go along".
"You don't have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step".
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought".
"When you visualize then you materialize".
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions".
"Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve".
"You are the only one who creates your reality".
"What you resist persists".
"All power is from within and is therefore under our own control".
"Whether you think you can or you can't either way you are right".
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls".
Yesterday, I saw the movie "The Secret". The quotes above are taken from this movie. As you can see, it shows that whatever you wish, you desire, you want can be yours if only you truly and positively believe in that. The more you think about something the more likely it is to happen.
A few posts ago, I said that my intuition told me a lot recently and I didn't let me down. I anticipated some things. But now, I started to wonder if maybe I somehow made them happen subconsciously. I was trying to avoid them so much that paradoxically I anticipated them....
Anyway, I promise I will start thinking positively and as well doing the affirmations. I know about affirmations not only from this movie but also from Covey's books. If you want something (e.g. success) start visualizing it in your mind. If success for you is a lot of money begin thinking that you already have it. Feel it in your hand. Start thinking how you will spend it.
I truly believe in that. See the movie to know more.
See how I've materialized my visualizations of my happy life:
friends, family, great job, great hobbies, money, material and spiritual things...
Now you know the secret... :)
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