life is... in Brussels

I have been here for 2 days and I have been enjoying my time here. This is a nice city. Maybe not as beautiful as e.g. Paris but still very nice. It is smaller size wise which is very good. I live in walking distance from centre (I can drink and come back home on foot totally wasted after a fabulous party = meaning no need to drive car or pay for the night buses). The weather has been nice too. I am not surprised. Even tough normally it's shitty here (that's what they say) I somehow always manage to have good weather when I travel to European capitals. I always arrive at the first day of sun and always leave in the last one. It's the case for Brussels (the arriving part only).

I haven't had any pure "life is a movie" moments yet - no jazz singer of the most fabulous hot spot of the town has paid for my drinks yet, I haven't been dancing crazy dances to the jazz versions of Russian songs in another great hot spot, I haven't been an extra in a movie (did I mention something about too high expectations some time ago? Because I am not sure about that... :)

In return, I had a very nice and tranquil weekend, exploring the city or hanging around in the city cafés with some of my friends which are things that I obviously enjoy. I have a great flat and my flat mate seems nice. I am starting my job tomorrow. A bit stressed but also impatient to do it.

I am not disappointed about no "life is a movie" situations. It took me a few months to establish my life in Rabat. Now, I already have some experience in that. I will soon explore the proper places and I have the right people for that. And I will find more of them (both people and places). It's just the matter of time. Life is a movie, anyway. And even in the best movie you need to wait for the action to speed up :)

"cry just a little bit"

I almost cried again. I stopped myself that time. First, when I was saying goodbye to my mom and then on the way to the airport. The other cry-causing factors were some difficult conversations that I had with some important people in my life. It's sorted out now and there should be no problems in the relations. It's just when you listen to sad things you absorb them and then in order to get them out of yourself crying might be a good solution. I did not do that however. It just went away itself without tears.

Now, I should be crying from happiness. I arrived in Brussels around 2 h ago. It's so exciting. My flat and flat mates are very nice. I'm starting my job on Monday but before I will have a fabulous first weekend in the city!

Life is a movie!

"the winner takes it all"

I've made it. 10 weeks of Poland have just passed. I'm going to Brussels in 21 hours and something.

Have I won the battle? Am I successful? Well, if you look the goal-wise I'm definitely a winner. I have survived this period having realized all my goals (I wrote my thesis, saw most of my friends and family and partied with them, travelled a bit in Poland, got enough money for going to Brussels, found a room there, did all the paper work etc). However, if you look process-wise, I'm not sure if I'm 100% winner. It was painful to be here at the beginning (quite a long beginning) and I didn't cope with this in a good way. I was complaining a lot and it wasn't easy for others to deal with that. Strength as I recently realized is not only reaching the goals but also doing that in a brave way. I did the first thing but not always in a brave way.

Objectively looking, my stay here wasn't that bad. Yes, the beginning was very hard. No question. But later, the nice moment were happening more and more often. At some points I had a lot of fun. Thanks to my friends of course. Hamdullah for them! However, I keep thinking of Morocco and Rabat all the time. I'm there every and each day - walking on Mohammed V avenue, catching a blue cab, waiting for a train to Casablanca and listening to the bilingual train announcements, having a coffee at Bert's in Agdal, enjoying my breakfast on the rooftop of my Oudayas house overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, Bouregreg river, Salé, and Rabat downtown, grabbing gin tonic in Le Pietri or Le Grand Comptoir, passing through busy streets of the medina or walking lazily in MegaMall and watching the shop displays with exorbitant prices, taking the bus #1 to Souissi, going by car on John Kennedy avenue, crossing the streets with busy traffic in more dangerous way than Moroccans, eating my favorite avocado yoghurt and so on and so on. This is an endless list. This is also the past. However, the past that shaped the presence and the future. The past is here all the time. You can feel the presence of the past nearly every moment.

However, the future starts tomorrow while the presence ends. And a new love and hate relationship although the hating part will probably come later so let's not disturb ourselves with it.

Putting all the deep thoughts back I must say I am happy to be going to Brussels (which is not a surprise for you I am sure). And Poland is not that bad either. I kind of like it too. Probably because I'm leaving tomorrow. But also because I got used to living here and also managed to be surrounded and have fun with great people. And I am also stressed about leaving tomorrow. I have the pre-departure fever that sometimes makes me think "I should stay". It's normal however in my case. These are irrational thoughts and I don't take them into serious consideration. They show up whenever I travel there. Fuck them!

And sorry for randomness and mess of this post... I guess that the form doesn't matter today but the content only.

It's the end of a season and the beginning of a new one.

La vie commence d'être un film encore! A partir de demain!

summertime

Everyone loves summer, don't they? Sun, beach, sea, lake, rest, trips, abandoning office and work. Summertime. My summertime started last year in June and lasted (with some minor disruptions) until 23 June (2008) - the time of the year when according to astronomy the summer actually starts. My summer ended for me when it started for the others. C'est la vie! Life wasn't a movie anymore. Luckily, with some minor exceptions.

The first one was the night I had in Sopot (mentioned here). I had a blast partying with some foreigners in a cool city, in a cool club with great music (1980s:). I felt awesome as if I was back in the Kingdom.

The second time was the weekend trip to Warsaw. I discovered the city, met my friends, drank some liquor, partied, hanged out in the picturesque or dirtily urban parts of the capital. I didn't expect so much from such a short period of time in one place. It also gave me a lot of thoughts (read here). That was an enlightening experience.

The third time was last weekend. I went with my friend Ludwika to the south of Poland. We went to my grandma and instead of going by train, bus or any other civilized mean of transportation we decided for hitch-hiking. That and the whole visit at my family's were one of the most hilarious and funny few days of my life. Ludwika and I have extremely ridiculous and grotesque sense of humor. I have never laughed so much before. And we laughed because of really stupid and crazy things. Millions of inside jocks. You would never understand it even if you perfectly spoke Polish and were with us. It's just us.

All that and a few other smaller stories made my summertime relatively nicer than I had expected upon arrival in Poland (in between of the days of boredom and frustration). My friend Tosia patiently waited until the day that I said I liked Poland. It was yesterday that I said that. Maybe because of the fact that I had these nice moments or because I am leaving this country in 2 days. I admit that it was very hard for me at the beginning of my stay here. It was awful. Although I keep thinking about the Kingdom every day (until today), there is no more sorrow and pain now as it used to be at the beginning.

The new movie is about to start. And it's summertime again! yaaay!

I love 80s!

I love 1980s!!! I know (let's be honest) that it's not the best achievement of music or its highest peak but I simply adore it. 80s are awesome!

A few days ago, I bumped into Sopot Festival 2008 - one of the oldest pop music festivals in Poland (happening since 1963 in the city where I study - Sopot). Same as 80s, the event has rarely been perceived as high-quality. Critics questions its level every year. I watched 80s concert the other night. It hosted the performance of musicians such as Shakin' Stevens, Kim Wilde, Sandra, Sabrina, Kajagoogoo, Samantha Fox and Modern Talking. It was one of the few or probably the first time that I watched a concert from the beginning until the end. I had a blast wishing I was part of the audience. 80s have its fabulous atmosphere and rhythms. The 80s-themed parties are the best. 80s are awesome! (I know, I know - my music taste is very low:)

See the TV promotional spot of the Festival (having answered the phone, the lady is saying "everything is gonna be ok! we've got the real ones!"):



and the real ones:

Kim Wilde: You Keep Me Hangin' On




Shakin' Stevens: Cry Just A Little Bit




Sandra: Maria Magdalena




Sabrina: Boys




Samantha Fox: Touch Me (I Want Your Body)




Kajagoogoo: Too Shy




Modern Talking: Cherry Cherry Lady

a huge step for me, but not necessarily for the humanity

This step is my master's thesis! Yesterday, I officially finished writing it and then sent it to my prof! Yay!!! The counting stopped on 101 pages :) Unfortunately, it doesn't mean my graduation yet. My prof will review it and if it sucks I will have to rewrite it - that's the worst of the most pesimistic scenarios. I'm sure it's not gonna be that bad. I just hope I will not have to many corrections and thus I won't spend too much of precious Belgian time on working on it. Theoretically, I have around 10 months for doing that (until June 2009 or if I want I can postpone it until September 2009). However, I want to do it till this winter so that I am don with that as soon as possible and I can focus on my last exams of the fifth year. And then just graduate in June 2009.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

"high hopes"

Despite my excitement about my soon-to-be-started second international experience, there are, I must admit, some fears. Again, it's all about expectations.

Going to Morocco I didn't have too much of them - just the standard ones like learning a new language, traveling, sigthseeing, meeting new people, developing myself and bla bla bla. These were good expectations but not so difficult to be fulfilled. I wasn't aware of lots of stuff that I later experienced. Because how could I predict meeting so many wonderful people? being an extra in a Hollywood movie? having such a wonderful social life? having so many amazing conversations? That was all beyond any expectations of mine.

And it's here that I start walking on a dangerous soil - I begin to set too many expectations which are in addition very high. I will live in a city different than Rabat, I will have a different job, different amount of money to spend. People will not be the same either (I don't mean locals but expats) and that's my biggest fear. Will they all be as fabulous as those in Rabat? I really wanna reestablish my Rabat lifestyle but will I have the resources to do it? I will find it out soon. All the questions will be answered.

How much will my first international experience differ from the second one? The second time is never the first time. Will the Kingdom of Belgium be as generous for me as Kingdom of Morocco? A helping factor is paradoxically in this case the Republic of Poland. If I hadn't had to go to the Republic for 2 months I would have all the reversed cultural shocks in the second Kingdom. But being here I associate all the shocks to my stay in the Republic and at the same time I am looking forward to going the Kingdom which I expect to be a cure for my poor state right now. I only hope I'm not overestimating the power of this cure...

What makes me feel better is the fact that I was getting to Morocco with no slightest idea what I would experience soon. I didn't even consider that I would go thru something else than awaited. I simply didn't think of it. I hope that's gonna be the same in Belgium. There will be things I am not aware of at the moment. There will be times when I think I am dreaming, when I think it's not really happening.

...and life will be a movie again.

"every step you take, I'll be watching you"

The city of Rabat can population-wise be compared to Warsaw, Poland. When you walk in Warsaw you can actually feel you are in a big city however, when you're in Rabat you can't feel the urban atmosphere... The city is very calm even tough the traffic might be perceived as a bit crazy (not because of traffic jam that is not the case in Rabat but because of the way people drive - still it's way less crazy than in Casablanca or Marrakesh). At least, you don't feel as if you were in a huge city. There is a small down town (centre-ville) and another "center" called Agdal. Despite the fact the Centre-Ville has its gorgeous avenue Mohammed V, the post-colonial architecture, my favorite hot spots (le Grand Comptoir and le Pietri) and the proximity of the medina I always like Agdal more. Maybe because you feel the city atmosphere more when you are in Agdal than in Centre-Ville.

Whenever I walk in Sopot, Gdansk or Gdynia (the cities where I lived and studied) or even in Warsaw I feel really anonymous. It's not easy to meet someone you know on the street (possible but not very common). But in Rabat, it was almost sure that you always meet someone you know - not only on the street but on the trains, in the cafes, bars or even when catching the taxi. Normally, it has its pros and cons but luckily in Rabat you would most of the times bump into your good friends or people you really like. I loved that about Rabat. You felt like at home surrounded by cool people everywhere (I mean friends not the random strangers:)

Once I was crossing the street near cafe Bert's and pizzeria Pinchos in Agdal when I saw my good friend Neal (the prof in the school where my office was situated; of Moroccan/Polish/Jewish origins and American nationality). I barely saw him walking with the mp3 player and headphones in my ears. We exchanged a few words and decided to go out to le Grand Comptoir later that day. I walked away thinking that Rabat is so cool to let me bump into my friends everywhere when I met Elsa (an English teacher of French origins). We also had a short conversation (would be longer but we were both in hurry) and planned something together too.

A few weeks before that I was waiting for a friend near gare de Rabat Ville in Centre-Ville. Firstly, I saw two AIESECers from Casablanca walking towards me. Not surprised to meet friends in the middle of the city we talked a while. Then they left and a few minutes later I saw my flat mate Rachid (a Moroccan/Russian guy studying in Rabat) waving to me from the distance. I went to talk to him and he said he was having a coffee across the huge roundabout in front of the train station and it was then that he saw me. He decided to invite me. I thanked saying I was waiting for a friend. Then I met my another friend (a Canadian) whom I met at the movie shooting. We actually said good bye because he was about to leave the next day. After he left I saw again the two AIESECers coming back from wherever they were and asking me: "are you still waiting for your friend?" I screamed back: "you know!! the Moroccan timing!!" They laughed and went away. My friend was late almost 1 hour. Then suddenly, a guy (a Moroccan) sitting next to me started the conversation.
him: "so what is exactly Moroccan timing?"
me: "you know, my friend was about to be here one hour ago and I'm still waiting!"
him: "oh! maybe something happend to him?"
me: "sure... yeah..."
him: "where are you from actually?"
me: "Poland"
him: "oh! Poland... nice... kurwa!"
me: ":)"
him: "Poland? so do you know Karim? He is from Poland!"
me: "no.... I don't know any Karim from Poland"
And then my impatiently waited by me friend came and the hilarious conversation was over.

Another time, I was walking thru the medina with my friends and wearing my favorite AIESEC t-shirt (the AIESEC UK t-shirt with huge word "AIESEC" and huge British flag) and one of the AIESECers, Amine Lax, told me the next day that his mom saw me in the medina the day before. I said that how come she could have recognized me - she had never seen me and we had never met. He replied: "You obviously look like a foreigner and you had an AIESEC t-shirt. When she told me that I told her that she must have seen our VP Finance:)"

Or thousands of stories of secret police watching foreigners or taxi drivers asking random tourists or mainly expats about forbidden topics...? (life was a spy movie there!) Everyone knew everyone in this city...

Oh Rabat! I miss your hilarious and surreal atmosphere... and my people!

mid-report

One of the things that makes me (and I'm sure that many of you too) happy is when I see that my goals are being gradually realized. When my plans are becoming reality. This is the reason why I've felt better recently. I came to Poland for 10 weeks with clear goals to achieve within this period. So... what I have actually achieved:

-my thesis (I finalized 3 out of 4 chapters which is more than 60 pages; still around 20 to be done and I expect to finish it by the next week the latest; I hope my prof will like it and there won't be any big corrections; I have a year to make them though since I plan to defend it in June 2009)

-getting back all my IDs that I lost in Madrid (all of them are back),

-driving a car (I had to relearn driving a car as I didn't do it for more than a year in Morocco; actually, it seems that my skills weren't lost; I drive as bad as I always did :) and! I submitted a car request form meaning I will get my own car in Brussels:),

-earning money (in progress; the agreement with my parents was that I get the money needed for first month in Brussels in exchange for helping them in houseworks and their summer business; not exciting in terms of kinds of works I have to do but exciting from financial point of view; still there are some details to be negotiated),

-seeing all my friends and family (in progress; mostly realized but still I need to see some of them which will happen soon),

-finding a place to live in Brussels (done!!! I found a cool, well-located and relatively cheap room between the centre and EU area! can't wait to move in there in exactly 3 weeks!).

Maybe the good realization of the plans or maybe the perspective of leaving soon for Belgium or maybe even the fact that the reversed-cultural shock is over and I started liking the country made me feel better. But le Maroc me manque beaucoup encore!! Oh Maroc!!! Tu es où??

Warsaw and all what it entails...

Last Friday, I went to Warsaw. The official objective of the trip was to collect some information for the last chapter of my thesis. However, I was more looking forward to seeing a lot of my friends there, chilling out and obviously partying...

Before I got to the city, I was wondering. After coming back to Poland and losing all the excitement about previously exciting things, will I like this city as I used to? Warsaw is either loved or hated. For many, it's perceived as ugly city with questionable atmosphere, rude people and architectural mess. Others are excited not judging it as ugly at all and enjoying the mysterious atmosphere, even if what they really love in it is totally crazy. I rather used to place myself in the second group, being charmed and seduced by the capital even tough I never had too many interactions with the city. When I was there, I loved wandering in the city centre near the Culture Palace that is the most controversial building of the city - by some perceived as the purest symbol of communism and Soviet influences whereas by others as intersting piece of architecture and symbol of difficult history of the country and the city. I totally loved being surrounded by the skyscrapers of 90's and XXI century, the ugly train station "Warszawa Centralna", the Palace and the XIX century old houses. You can feel the influences of at least three totally different historical periods of the city and the country called Poland.

I had all these thoughts on the car on the way to Warsaw. I was not excited as I should be. All the memories and thoughts seemed a bit faded. I got off the car and looked around. No thrilling feelings. I had some time and walked the pretty long distance from the neighborhood of the train station "Warszawa Zachodnia" (the Western Warsaw) to "Warszawa Centralna". I sat in a cafe in the newly opened "Zlote Tarasy" (the Golden Terraces) shopping mall. Normally, I don't enjoy shopping malls because going from shop to shop makes me very tired (and upset that I can't afford most of the things). However, I love sitting in the cafes in such places and breathing the urban air that surrounds me everywhere. Later, I met Olga - my flat mate in Rabat and the only Polish soul in Morocco with whom I had a lot of fun. A lot of the things, we discussed included post-cultural shocks and all the difficulties/challenges related to that. I really enjoyed that as it gave me a lot of thoughts that I will surely share here. The most important thing however, was the atmosphere that we had. I had the most laid-back day since I got back to Poland. We were wandering between cafes, parks, the Old City narrow streets and all this kind of places. We spent 7 or 8 hours like this - doing nothing. The city was so lazy. We had some hilarious interactions with some drunk men on the streets. I couldn't believe that the city was so lazy. I had always the impression that it was very fast and furious and crazy. And in reality, it was so laid-back and pleasently slow (probably, I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time to see its crazy part). I was loudly saying how surprised I was to experience this face of the city and Olga was actually surprised to be going it thru this as well. Although born and raised there, she didn't have too many that kind of interactions with Warsaw. I was happy to made her discover what I had just discovered.

What I also enjoyed is that I got to the city in one of the most memorable days of its history. At 5 PM after everyone could hear the sound of the hoot, all the cars stopped, people stood up and remained silent until the hoot was gone. The 1 August, 5 PM (called "W hour") is the anniversary of the Warsaw uprising of 1944 when people of the city started uneven fight against the occupants - Nazi Germans. Despite their amazing and brave efforts, they lost, most of them died and the city was razed to the ground. Even though"the city survived its own death" as one of the book and a shopping display says, it irreversably affected its people, spirit and the look. Probably, it's one of the many reasons why it is so bizarre right now and why it causes so many mixed and extreme feelings.

Later, that day I changed the environment - especially in terms of people. I met my friends again. But from a bit crazy, disorganized and "come what may" Olga I went to crazy (in a very different way), and more organized friends who work for different corporations in Warsaw and have excellently-promising careers. Well, it's actually the same for me. I will start a great job in a great city very very soon! That's why I was surprised not to enjoy listening to them speaking about new pieces of furniture bought to their flats (the flats that in a few cases have just been acquired as well - God bless mortgages), new cars and all the small gadgets that I simply don't need in my life. The conclusion was simple for me. At least, for the moment, I don't feel like settling down in one place for a lifetime... I'm happy for all of them but I'm happy for myself more. And somehow I got the impression, that I have so much more liberty in my life than anyone around me here. I guess I have the biggest correspondence between things I want and things I get (in the cases when it's technically possible to get them). When I want something I just do all my best to get that and sooner or later I have that. This especially includes the fact being somewhere where I really want to be. If I want to work in Bangkok, I will find a job in Bangkok. No question about it. And this feels so good.

That was a great weekend - it made me discover the city, wrap-up my life and also learn more about myself.

I guess I'm in love with Warsaw...