Sunday, September 30, 2007

inspiring motivational nostalgic

This post will be about music. What would be world without music? Can you even try to imagine? Music makes world go round!

The music I listen to changes constantly. It doesn't mean that I always stop listening to certain songs after a while. It sometimes happens however I often get back to them and try to discover their beauty again. They often remind me something, I love them or they just make me feel better.

Lately, I've discovered quite a few such songs – mainly thanks to an amazing TV show that I've been recently watching - Sex and the City. For some people this may be a stupid series about sex only. But for those who really carefully saw at least one episode this may be a great analysis of people's souls and minds. Something about love, life, relationships, family, friendships with really deep thoughts and conclusions. And of course a lot of good humor. Right now, I’m on the beginning of sixth (the last one! :( ) season.

Besides a lot of cool inspirations from the TV show itself I found a lot of awesome music thanks to it (a note for all AIESEC people – some of them are just perfect as music background for different kinds of presentation that we always do for conferences to motivate people – actually one of them, Candi Staton, has already been used during KK in January 2007 in Warsaw by Liso)

So the first one: already mentioned The Source Ft. Candi Staton-You've Got The Love (actually my favorite version without clip can be found here.



A short note about the conference where I heard the song for the first time. It was literally the most powerful conference experience I’ve ever had since I joined the Organization (I must admit that even bigger than IC in Turkey) – when I was standing in front of more than hundred of EBs of AIESEC in Poland and presenting myself during MCVP elections, when I realized that after AIESEC you don’t only have to either work in a multinational corporation or have your own business but there are other challenging possibilities, where I cried for the first time because of AIESEC (since I didn’t know for whom out of two incredible MCP candidates vote – Micha$ or Maria) or when I thought for the first time that I could be MCP myself.

It is actually the song played during end titles of the very last episode of SATC so it definitely has its atmosphere.

Another thing lately discovered is Cheryl Lynn – Got to be real



I just love this song for feelings and energy that it conveys. You should definitely watch the episode where it’s played (season 4, episode 2 – Carrie proudly stands up and walks with top-model Heidi Klum after falling on the runway during fashion show). It’s so positive, screams how beautiful life is and that we really can achieve a lot if we only want to. If you don’t manage to see the whole episode just see its last part.



The last tune from SATC (last for now) is DB Boulevard – Point of view.
I am not going to try to make anything up and explain why I like it. I just love it and you have to listen to it.



And two other songs that I’ve been listening for the whole days without changing – Madonna – Jump and It’s the time to disco (a Bollywood movie song).





First one is extremely motivating and the second one is kitsch but still it’s great. Both of them remind me IC in Turkey (even though I depreciated the conference by saying the KK was better) and fabulous time I spent there.

It’ll take you time to listen to all of them but I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I do!

Have fun!

My French

It’s been long time since I last wrote how my French is going. So – it’s not bad but it’s not good as well. I can speak a bit. I understand either the topic of the discussion or sometimes details as well. A few days ago I had a small conversation with a taxi driver. I didn’t understand everything but I got the point of the discussion. And I was able to respond a bit too.

I’ve got the feeling that I could do kind of more since I got here. Shouldn’t I speak better French after 4 months of being here? On the other hand, French is not native language in Morocco. Maybe, 4 months is not a lot at all to learn some language very well. I only had 3 weeks of an intensive course and comparing to my classmates I did quite good progress throughout these 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I am not this type of person who catches foreign language very quickly. I guess I don’t have this ability. I have to spend some time to start speaking, understanding and so on. And time… you know – there is not that much of it here.

But let’s not focus on the past anymore. Let’s look at the future. I did some efforts to be more successful in studying some French everyday (yes, I do it!) and… on Oct 15, I’m starting new course (course will finish by the end of Dec) – next level in the same school that I took my summer intensive course! It looks pretty promising. If I only am very systematic in learning on my own and if I finally start speaking French with my flat mates I may do a considerable progress.

Let’s stop talking (writing) and start acting.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

changing direction

It’s been more than 3 weeks after I came back from International Congress in Turkey and I somehow feel constantly influenced by what I experienced there. Now, I can clearly see how my life changed after this event. Now I can clearly see the difference between pre-IC Kamil and post-IC Kamil.

Before IC, I was definitely enjoying my life. And now, I enjoy it now as well. So where is the difference? The way I enjoy it is totally something else.

Before IC, I was not that involved in my job here. I was doing what I was supposed to do as MCVP Finance but somehow, nothing more happened. I was not very proactive in taking new challenges and I was only realizing my plan with no passion. I was single, I was enjoying a lot of parties, I had a few “short adventures”, I was thinking of finishing AIESEC after Morocco.

Thanks to going to IC, I realized that during first weeks of being here I could have done and achieved more. I missed a few opportunities. Some aspects of my life were heading for some unknown direction. A direction that in fact has nothing to offer.

Now, I have someone (it’s not just someone but someone special:), I extremely enjoy my work, I do my best to achieve a lot, I’m pretty happy for my plans for the future and everything seems going in the right way! Nothing is of course easy and sometimes bad days happen but who says we’re gonna have everything right away.

Even today when I’m so mentally exhausted of different things, my tired face is strong enough to smile :)

Kamil vs. Morocco

I officially announce that my excitement about this country is over. I don’t say that I’ve stopped liking it. It’s just that for the past 4 months I’ve managed to see quite a lot (I’m sure there is still a lot of places that would totally surprise me). Or maybe it’s not possible to live in a place and enjoy it or being excited about it all the time.

I also wrote you about this duality of Morocco – either you want to explore real Morocco (e.g. crowded Medina) or you want to see the parts of the country influenced by Western culture (especially French) which although are in Arab country they look really European. To be honest, recently I’ve been only enjoying this European part. I’ll give you a few examples. Two weeks ago I went to Marrakesh – after one day of wandering inside the city I was only thinking about going home (I mean my home in Rabat). A few days ago, I was sightseeing Fes with my family. Although I like Moroccan medinas visually, I cannot spend there too much time. It’s just so tiring. Streets are too narrow and crowded. People seeing that you’re not Moroccan want talk to you, sell you things etc. For me it’s just too exhausting. I wanted just to escape this city and I promised myself that I would never go inside Medina of Fes or Marrakesh. That may be hard because there are still some friends of mine who want to visit me. I know that what I’ll say may be rude but I think I’ll just give them my guidebook, some tips and let them go there on their own. Seriously, I may not survive going there once more. It makes my mentally exhausted.

On the other side there are some places that I just love. Sandy beaches or small charming cities like Bouznika where my parents and me went yesterday. Or Casablanca – I just adore this city! Many people say that there is nothing interesting there and it’s just another huge, polluted, crowded and noisy metropolis. To some point they are right. But I just love it’s architecture. It’s so gorgeous! Huge and massive buildings (either for some offices or for apartments), spacious parks. I was observing the buildings and looking for a potential flat for which I could kill just to have it :) My dream is to live in a big city – a capital, somewhere in the downtown, have a flat in an old apartment-house and just enjoying living such urban lifestyle somewhere downtown in the heart of a city. Casablanca as a city fulfills such criteria. Rabat is nice as well but although it’s a big city it’s very slow and calm. I need it to be a bit faster. Casablanca has its soul and spirit. Even if the streets are crowded and noisy at least the avenues are really wide which I love as well.

I’ve also discovered something else about me which is very actually very interesting. People here are very open. I like the fact that when you establish an eye contact you can at least hear “bonjour” or “ca va?”. But sometimes there is more. People start talking to you, asking questions and then inviting you or offering help especially when you travel. Then I realized that it makes me feel weird and I don’t like them being so open. I’m not that open for all this “activities”. It’s not about me being intolerant – I don’t have problems with this! I just feel really uncomfortable in such situations. I don’t trust people even though I know that they don’t want to hurt me, cheat me or something like that. When my Polish friends and me were in Berbers’ house I felt extremely weird. I just felt like leaving that place as soon as possible. I felt weird when e.g. he was showing pictures of his family. I know that there is nothing weird about that but this feeling was just somewhere inside of me. In the train to Fes a few days ago, a nice man started to talk to me. He was really nice but all the time I just wanted him to leave me. I didn’t feel like getting to know him or something. It’s not anything about Moroccans that make me feel like that. I just feel they enter my comfort zone and I’m not safe inside it. I guess that’s my mentality and the way I was brought up so it won’t be that easy to change it. Or maybe there’s no point in doing this. I need to keep some distance from certain people. I think it would be hard for me to live here for good.

Once I heard from my friend who was working in an AIESEC country in 2006/2007 that at first she was extremely enjoying here international experience but after 3 months she started seeing things differently and her excitement kind of disappeared. I couldn’t understand that. I thought that at the beginning you just start liking or disliking things and then nothing changes. I was so wrong. Maybe you just need 3 months to realize some things and starting being aware of them. Maybe it takes 3 months to explore the culture and find some things in it that you actually don’t like at all. Maybe some aspects that you enjoyed or at least knew about are tiring and not thrilling anymore. Maybe, you’re just being bored after a while. We’ll see how things will be. Challenges – as Cebula wrote they contribute to your growth. Still 282 days of possible challenges. So let’s move forward :)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Hollywood career?

Some time ago, I wrote about the power of networks (refer to post may these networks last forever). But the thing that I’m going to write you about has exceeded all my expectations. I could NEVER think that going to Morocco may result in such story and adventure!

So… I was offered to play in a movie :) A movie directed by … Ridley Scott. A movie with… Russel Crowe and Leo DiCaprio. I am not joking! I am not making fun of you. That’s totally true! The name of the movie is “Body of lies” and it’s an American production which will be partially made in Morocco.

What did I do to be offered such exciting opportunity? As usually in such networking cases – nothing :) You just have to unconsciously be in the right place, at the right time and among the right people. So I was. A friend of my flat mate happened to know someone from the production crew. And they need European/American looking people. Well, I definitely fulfill this requirement (people keep telling me that I’m blond! I hate it!). Yesterday, a guy responsible for finding extras (PL – statysci) came to our flat, took some picture of us and gave us some details. They will need us for a couple days (max 5 days however luckily not in a row but spread within the period of October and November). We don’t need to say anything – just be in the background. He also said to me that I would be a good person for playing soldier! (but they will need to cut my hair since it's quite long - I haven't cut it since I left Poland) :D They money they offered seems to be quite good as well. For 3 days of being actor I would get equivalent of my salary here. Of course my supreme goal is not making money but taking a picture with Russel or Leo :)

I don’t want to get excited (well, I guess it's too late... I'm already excited) before anything happens since it’s often that someone promises you something and then nothing happens. However, the guy told us that they needed a lot of Europeans/Americans and it was not easy to find them here so probably there would be no selection process. It seems we’re already in!

What more can I say? Post some comments :)

May these networks last forever!!!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Happy Ramadan!

Today is the first day of Ramadan (Arabic: رمضان). What does it mean?
Ramadan is the month of fasting, the ninth month in the Muslim calendar. Fasting is one of the 5 pillars of Islam and is considered the month of spirituality, charity and praying. The fasting people are not allowed to eat or drink from when the sun raises until it sets. Generally they should resist the temptations of all desires (food, drinking, kissing, sex etc). In the evenings after sunset, people get together, families gather and friends are invited to have the first meal of the day together, the iftar, that breaks the fast. It is usually a big home cooked dinner and everyone enjoys eating and being together. After sunset the streets, cafes, restaurants are just full of people – way more than usually.

Ok, this was the definition from my friend’s blog and from wikipedia. Now, some of my thoughts.

First of all, what I noticed that literally everyone takes it seriously! Since I got here I’ve met some people in Morocco that do not put a big stress about their religion, praying etc. But everyone that I know is going to fast during this month. I can see that it is really important for them.

Secondly, what does Ramadan mean for me? You can say I’m not Muslim so I shouldn’t care about that at all. Theoretically, it is true. However, I decided to try to fast – not the whole month but at least one full day or couple of them if I manage. And for sure, I will not eat in front of Muslims when they’re next to me or when I’m out. E.g. today – our cleaning lady comes at 10 AM, then I go for meeting with my MCP, then for French classes and I’m back at home after 5 PM. It means I won’t eat or drink anything between 10 AM and 5 PM. And since we have Tunisian person in the flat, maybe I will stop eating because he’s in the flat. Or at least I will do it so that he doesn’t see me. It's not about being fearful but about showing respect and not eating in front of person who is extremely hungry.

The fact that everyone speaks about Ramadan (either they are Muslims or not), the fact that everyone asks you whether you’re going to fast or not, the fact that you will feel a huge difference on the streets before and after sunset makes you feel the special atmosphere of this period. It’s not exactly the same but I can compare it to Christmas or Easter. It’s not about the customs since Catholic festivities are totally different that ones here. But both have this magical, special atmosphere that I just love. You can feel the spirit.

Today, is actually the first morning so I haven’t gone through a Ramadan day yet. I promise to share with you all my thoughts related to it as soon as they appear!

Happy Ramadan!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

time goes by so quickly

Kojo (US)
Ida (US)
Tracy (US)
Daisy (US)
Alex (US)
Sadia (the Netherlands)
Christina (US)
Allen (US)
Cynthia (US)
Verena (Germany)
Suzanne (the Netherlands)
Sara (the Netherlands)
Katusha (the Netherlands)
Tess (Canada)
Naoufel (Morocco)

Who do you think are these people? They are my ex flat mates. Quite a lot, don't you think so? Why am I writing about it right now? It's because yesterday I became the person living here for the longest period of time. Right now, there is NO ONE who was here when I arrived. It's a bit challenging I must admit. You get to know people, get along with them, build relations, sometimes almost genuine friendships! I don't know if you imagine how fast you build this connection between you and others when you live together and spend so much time with each other... But then they leave... And new people come and leave, come and leave... ehhh

And as my wonderful counter shows it’s been more than 100 days since I got here. And still almost 300 to come. This is so unbelievable. Like my life recently!

I’m finishing – lack of words.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

happy when working with people

Today, at work, I had two really cool meetings! I'm so satisfied and happy!

First one was with LCP (Local Committee President) from AIESEC in Casablanca. Before I tell you details, I will write about one thing. During IC in Turkey someone mentioned that people prefer to open new AIESEC countries because it's so cool to work in extensions whereas no one takes care of already existing countries that face huge challenges and problems. I had the same issue on Moroccan ground. I actually was expecting to become expansion manager in new city where there's no AIESEC at all right now. But instead I became LC coach of this low performing LC in Casa. I must admit that I was disappointed at the beginning a bit (I guess because of the reasons I pointed above). But later I thought that it's actually the same experience - either you open a new office in a new place or you do your best to maintain and develop an existing one. Both are challenging experiences. And both can give you a lot! As I said, today I had a meeting with LCP from LC in Casablanca. I just loved it! I’m so excited and positive about how things are gonna go! I had some ideas and solutions for challenges and I do believe we can implement it and make things go forward!

Second meeting was with my VPs Finance (my subordinates on local level). The purpose was to explain them new accounting system that I prepared. I was really happy to see them asking a lot of questions to understand it as much as possible. And they really praised my efforts to make things change for better in Morocco in terms of financial management. It was so great. I felt flattered! I’m also positive when it comes to this aspect.

Recently, I’ve felt really happy. I do the job that I enjoy, I spend time or I’m in touch with valuable people and I’m happy with someone special. And the future seems bright! :)

Monday, September 10, 2007

reviewing long term goals

On Sunday, when I was in Marrakesh, Morocco with my friends we had an interesting conversation. We were talking about decisions of youth in terms of what they want to do in their lives. Of course, it's not the first time that I think/talk about this issues. The conclusion is that usually people make short term decisions or they don't know how to make a good decision when it comes to their future. By the way, this is my inspiration how I could make impact in my society - this is an issue, a need that I could address by e.g. having my own company/NGO in the future.

And then I started thinking about my case. How was I making decisions? Were they good?

I joined AIESEC in 2003 - the same year when I started my studies. At that time, I was afraid of being unemployed after graduation and being stuck in small Sztutowo (my hometown in Poland) for whole my life. So, I decided to be as active during my studies as possible in order to have a better start in my life (we can say I wanted to have better CV). I heard that AIESEC sent students for internships so that was aspect factor that attracted me - gaining international experience. I didn’t plan to stay in AIESEC for long though.

Throughout past years a lot things have changed. My sources of motivation to be in AIESEC are different. And I’m still in AIESEC and what’s more I don’t know when I leave it :) Moreover, right now, I am in the Organization not only to have a better start in the future. I really want to have this impact in the society (that’s why I’ve identified an issue that I want to address – see above) and I want to develop people and help them in discovering their potential. I could never expect that this Organization will give me so much. Not only in terms of personal and professional development. Just imagine how many great people I’ve met – a few of them are my close friends (and one person a lot more :) )

As I told you one of the reason for me to join AIESEC was to go abroad for internship and prepare myself for the future. I recalled these goals at the very moment when I was having a coffee in the city of Marrakesh in North Africa and when I had almost no worries about oncoming future. 4 years ago, could I imagine sitting in a café in Marrakesh? It’s so extremely amazing when you review you long term goals and you finally realize that YOU HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN ACHIEVING THEM!! Having success seems not to require that much. You just need to know what you want and then everyday take small steps to achieve it. And if you don’t know what you want, believe me, that there are some techniques and ways of learning more about your passions and interests.

When I look at 4 past years of my life I feel extremely happy and I know I’ve been heading for the right future! What’s most important I feel successful in my personal and professional life! I do what I like and I’m among the right people!

:)

Sunday, September 9, 2007

back in The Red City

This weekend, me and my dear Polish friends (Kinga and Konstancja) went for a weekend trip to Marrakesh. So... how was it? Sometimes great, sometimes tiring. Tiring not only because of hot weather or walking a lot in the narrow streets of the medina. I've recently realized that I am sometimes really tired of some aspects of local culture, customs and habits. Yes, I'm admitting that living in Morocco is sometimes exhausting.

What happened in Marrakesh? We were often "attacked" by shop keepers who were trying to get us to their shops, by "guides" who were offering their services, by taxi drivers who didn't want to turn on meters and prices that they were saying were of course higher than they would be with meters on, by e.g. orange juice seller who handed us a glass of juice as a gift. A gift for which you obviously have to pay! There were a few situations when we knew that people just want to get as much money from us as possible just because we’re tourists. Bleeeee… what an awful feeling. That’s why I didn’t enjoy the trip as much as I should.

But from the beginning…

At 7.45 AM on Saturday, we took a train from Rabat to Marrakesh. It took us 4 hours to get there. After a walk we had a coffee, found a cheap hotel and then went to the most famous square in the Medina and the city (Djemaa el Fna Square) full of cafes, shops, people with different animals (like snakes or monkeys) and henna women.



When we approached a group of snake wizards one of them seeing me invited me to the middle of the circle (or actually grabbed my hand and took me there), and put a snake on my neck. After a while there was another wizard with another snake that was on my neck in just a second. Surprisingly, I realized that I wasn’t afraid of snakes at all. I was more afraid of these wizards who “invaded” my comfort zone being too close to me. After taking pictures he asked for money – 100 dh (=1euro). I told him I wouldn’t give that much money and I’d give just 10 dh which is a coin but he kept saying “paper money, paper money”. Luckily, he didn’t feel like bargaining and he didn’t object when I gave him the coin of 10 dh. After we left the wizards I realized that… I had snake’s shit on my t-shirt (t-shit:) ) and on my arm… Well, I have never heard of snakes shitting on people so I felt sort of special that it happened to me. I didn’t care about that and I just assumed that it would bring a lot of good luck :)


Then we had orange juice story… The rest of the day we spent on random walking in the Medina until late evening, buying things from time to time and experiencing tiring bargaining, or saying “no thank you / no, merci” to people who wanted to “help us”. In the evening, we went to Theatro – a cool, expensive (15euro entrance fee!!) and posh nightclub that I went to in June as well. The place itself was really cool but the music could be a bit better. To get there we had to take a taxi and it was then that the taxi driver didn’t want to turn on the meter and he charged us more than it would normally be.


On Sunday again, we did some random sightseeing of Royal Palace neighborhood and some shopping with bargaining in order not to pay exorbitant prices! At some point, we met a Berber man who invited us at his place, showed us pictures of his family, did a massage of our arms using sort of oil (I guess it was a Berber specialty) served some tea with a lot of spices (so delicious!) and let girls wear his wife’s clothes. That was really cool!


Then, we finally took the train home to Rabat. I’m saying “finally” because it was the thing I was dreaming of the whole day. And now, I’m almost sleeping in my bed and right now I don’t need anything to be happy :)

Although, I’m not so positive about talking tonight about weekend in Marrakesh, what Konstancja said to me today in the taxi was totally true! She told me “Although you’re sometimes pissed off because of different things happening or not happening here you will be really happy at the end of your stay here that you have had the chance of living one year in Morocco”. I totally agree!

Monday, September 3, 2007

"It's almost unreal"

Yesterday, I arrived back in Rabat, Morocco to my flat on Rue Al Mariniyne. Back to my flat mates, back to normal (?) life, back to the mess in the bathroom and kitchen :) Flat seems more and more empty. Tommorow, there will be only 5 people living here whereas since the beginning I've got used to living with about 10 people at one time. I'm starting to be afraid of the silence that is more and more often here. But I guess we will have some new people here. Not that much as during summer but at least I will not be alone here.

I'm happy, sad and nostalgic at the same time.

Happy to experience this incredible conference, meet old friends and make new friends (or more). Happy to challenge myself and take a very brave decision. Happy to discover new country and amazing city. Was it really happening? Maybe, it was just a dream? It's so unreal!

On the other hand - sad and nostalgic. Sad to leave the conference, the city and of course the people. It was great to have this amazing reunion with all international MC members with Polish passports (emigracja zawsze razem!). Although I knew all of them, it was only at IC that I managed to get to know at least some of them really well! Especially you Cebulka;) And of course I was so happy to meet eva whom I will see in Macedonia next year, inchallah (if God allows – I’m sure He will)!

Last but not the least I miss you! The last thing that I could expect was meeting someone that I would like more than a friend. Especially, after unpleasant experience that I'd had, I didn't feel like getting involved into anything new. I just wanted to enjoy being single. However, I guess such things are not up to us. (it's NOT up to you:) Some force made us feel what we feel and make us try to overcome all the challenges. We'll see how things will go but something inside keeps telling me that we will do it! It's like a dream but the best thing is that it is NOT a dream! It seems so unreal but it is real.


I love when you do that hocus pocus to me.
The way that you touch, you've got the power to heal.
You give me that look, it's almost unreal. It's almost unreal.
(Roxette, "Almost Unreal")

Saturday, September 1, 2007

one night only

So, this is my last night in Istanbul and Turkey. After almost 3 weeks, I'm going back HOME (yes, home) to Morocco. Time here was fabulous. Sightseeing, learning, developing, getting to know new people and spending time with one amazing person! I'll never forget it! And I'm gonna extremely miss it. On the other hand, I'm sure I will be able to transfer it into great results and achievements in AIESEC in Morocco and personally.

I feel happy, nostalgic and sad at the same time. I think I don't have words to express my feelings - maybe pictures will do it instead of me.

Good night.