a trailer of a new season!

A change of a season. In Morocco, it would always happen around some big events - a trip to a foreign country, a change of a an apartment, meeting some new interesting people, a clarification of the planes for the future or at the very end the ultimate sadness of leaving and the supreme happiness of having experienced that fabulous life of Al-Maghrib. A season would change every 2-3 months.

I have been to Belgium for exactly 2 months and it is time to finish the first (dull and lame) season. I am going to Paris for the weekend and to Istanbul for another long (and prolonged by taking additional 2 days of leave) weekend (2 trips!). I have started having more new friends (meeting new people). These are at least two signs of a new season. And I can smell it is coming. I am going through a great week followed by great weekend. The job is going fine - busy and challenging but not over-stressing. The social schedule is even more busy. A glass of red wine with a friend, an Indian dinner with some other people, some fancy opening of a fancy new place, another dinner and a Halloween theme party. Everything is also within a reasonable budget. And a piece of a cherry on the cake - Paris for the weekend.

I hope it's more than a good week - I don't feel this kind of emptiness, sadness and restlessness anymore. It's more like in a movie now.

And I can simply smell the new season. You can see the TV spots but they are not that clear or direct. One of the best way to advertise new things is to give limited information to the target group, release some gossips, make people speak about it etc. Then you can be sure of a lot of attention paid to the advertised product. That is what life is doing right now with me. It is conveying a vague message. The picture is obvious to me despite its unclearness. I can feel it.

The new season is coming...

c'est l'Art qui va nous sauver

The day after writing the Saturday posts (which naturally has to be Sunday) I went for a party called 'a Sunday meeting with young Belgian artists'. In my desperation for kicking off a wonderful social life, I do not miss any opportunity. The event was full of great, international people working for different companies, EU institutions, having lived in the most remote places of the globe and coming from different parts of the world or from different countries at the same time (the lucky bastards who have more than one nationality and hence more than one passport!). The first thing clearly different from what I had experienced before was the fact that most of them would genuinely like or almost love their lives in Brussels. They would enjoy the social life, the company of other people and the events. Moreover, all of them would do those kind of jobs that I usually describe with one word - boring. But somehow, another part of their personalities was sensitive to art. They could manage an interesting discussion far from the topics of finances, marketing or audit. It was an interesting discovery. And it is always good to talk to people who feel happy, isn't it? A few words of conversations, a few glasses of never-failing vin rouge (red wine) and a few pieces of advice how to find yourself in a new life in a new city later I got some new friends and made concrete plans for the next social events. The first one is tomorrow! Finally a huge breakthrough in my personal life here. I am telling you. And I will be telling you in the next posts.

And by the way - the artists were a calligrapher and a photographer who combine their talents and come up with a marvelous pieces of arts - calligraphic writing which is then photographed. The outcome of the whole process that is a bit more complex can be found here. It's the Art that will save us!

Nina Simone - My baby just cares for me

Can you think of a cuter and nicer song and videoclip? I cannot!

Enjoy!

a peace treaty with faith

Hardly anyone I meet in Brussels is really happy here. I cannot say these people are unhappy either. They just live their lives in this city being somewhere in between the states of ultimate happiness or a deep depression. Their lives are ok. They are fine. They agreed on this kind of life with Brussels. They would have probably thought of all the kinds of advantages of living here - relatively small city, size-wise but still cool to live with many internationals and places to go out, good job opportunities and all the other convenient crap. But no one finds it exciting or thrilling. People rather seem to go for the things I mentioned. After living in Morocco and having 'life is a movie' moments or states of ultimate happiness (yes, accompanied by states of deep hate or being pissed off) I don't think I will be ever capable of staying in such a dull place. Even if they offer me a good package of social insurances. Then why do these other people agree for that? Probably, they never experienced something more interesting. Maybe they know that life can be better but never felt that so they're not aware of that. They want to live comfortably. They are afraid of changes. Or simply they don't need the kind of life I want to have. Or they don't know they need it...

A girl I met today at a party when asked if she loved living in Belgium replied 'Belgium is not a country to love. You might like it, there rarely are days you hate it. But never love. It is just nothing so special about it to love. Go for liking it. It's the most you can have.' It is so true.

The only reason I can stay here for life is meeting fucking fabulous people.

Then I will fall in love with the country immediately.

life in a non-fabulous city

No, Brussels can hardly be called a fabulous city. The fabulous part is barely seen. I am still looking for it and hoping I can find it. I have the pictures in my mind of me not wanting to leave Brussels in the future because of fabulous life that I have. It is said that when you visualize something it is easier to get that. So I do that.

Maybe this worked out because I had a great moment with some friends last Thursday. Wonderful people, great dinner and of course a bottle of wine (and another bottle). People and alcohol are an amazing mix. My friend that I met are cute, smart, funny, sexy - a melange I like to call 'fucking fabulous'. That's how they are. Unfortunately, that was all. All good things come to an end. 

On Friday, I met two AIESECers. I saw a salsa email and decided to go for the free class at some salsa bar. I met that AIESEC intern girl. The salsa was nice but also painful as it reminded me of my salsa course in Morocco. Then, the dancing part ended and we had to talk. Nothing easy with people with whom you have no connection whatsoever. A friend of hers came over a while later. He was more bearable for me. However, after a while we couldn't agree on a place to go afterwards. It's not that no one would listen to the suggestions of the others - no one would have any interesting suggestions at all (neither would I). We were wandering across the city. We ended up in a nice pub. And then the worst things started to happen. As I might have mentioned that before I hate certain things related to international experience. First one is that I avoid tourists (or I simply hate them) and any signs of them (like taking too many pictures which sometimes happens to me but I make sure it is not too often). The second thing is that I hate ordering in restaurants / bars / pubs in English. Belgium is my second French speaking country that I live in. Even tough my French is not perfect I can manage to have a conversation in this beautiful language. I always use it when speaking to people on the streets, offices or bars. I hate ordering in English because I feel as if I were a stupid tourist who can't speak any language but his native and English (which are often one language). It is not always truth but was always the case in Morocco and is in Belgium. And if you don't speak the language of the country where you currently are / live you can always learn a few words. So I was in this bar with those two people. The guy was ordering in English and the girl was taking pictures of the bottles of alcohol over the bar... Could it have been any worse? When we toasted and I made sure we looked at each other's eyes to avoid seven years of bad sex she felt really intimidated by the fact of bringing up the sex issue. Later, on the way back home she kept taking the pictures and I couldn't resist saying 'why are you taking so many pics? You're not a tourist!' She replied 'oh yes, I am! But just for more than one day!' Apparently, it could have been worse. People who know me know that I will not become friends with her. It was a horrible experience. The percentage of boring and dull expats is so sadly high here. 

Today, at a birthday party of a friend, I met a Polish girl. She's been in Belgium for a few years now. She has this well-paid job at some European institution, a cute boyfriend who will probably become her husband soon. And they have recently left moved out of Brussels to live somewhere outside of the city. I asked if it was suburbs but she said it was even farther. It is definitely not the kind of life I see for myself. And I guess there would be no connection between us either.

To summarize - life can be fun here but it is very difficult. I am still struggling to achieve that.

"Our last summer" (Mamma Mia movie) aka. my last year

The summer air was soft and warm
The feeling right, the Paris night
Did its best to please us
And strolling down the Elysee
We had a drink in each cafe
And you
You talked of politics, philosophy and I
Smiled like Mona Lisa
We had our chance
It was a fine and true romance

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain

We made our way along the river
And we sat down in the grass
By the Eiffel tower
I was so happy we had met
It was the age of no regret
Oh yes
Those crazy years, that was the time
Of the flower-power
But underneath we had a fear of flying
Of getting old, a fear of slowly dying
We took the chance
Like we were dancing our last dance

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer
Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants
Our last summer
Morning croissants
Living for the day, worries far away
Our last summer
We could laugh and play

And now you're working in a bank
The family man, a football fan
And your name is Harry
How dull it seems
Yet you're the hero of my dreams

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the Seine, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain
I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
In the tourist jam, round the Notre Dame
Our last summer
Walking hand in hand
Paris restaurants
Our last summer
Morning croissants
We were living for the day, worries far away

grey days

It has been around a month and a half since I got to Brussels and no break through changes since then (the positive thing is that most of the stresses related to kick-off of my new life is gone). Job goes fine. Driving the car goes fine. The social life goes fine... But is fine enough for me? There are no big things I can complain about but there are no exciting and thrilling things I can admit to have either. Life is slightly better than average. Only slightly... I guess this is the feeling that is shared not only by me. I have met many people who thought the same. “Yes, life in Brussels is fine”, “yes, it is ok”. I have never heard that someone was excited about their lives and experiences here.

Is there a chance to shoot a movie in such boring scenery? Will it be a Hollywood hit? Won’t it be too boring? I then foresee that the change of the scenery is inevitable. It will happen within the next months. It must happen. And a total change is not difficult as you might seem. As I was said a few days ago by someone:

"no, it's not a dream, it's easy - just do it and you will be happy"

And no question about it.

love and hate relationship - part trois

I have mentioned many times that there is no love and hate relationship between me and Brussels. I tolerate / like the city but no thrilling emotions involved whatsoever. The city is actually not helping to fall in love with it.

Today, I went to a pretty nice café where jazz concert was about to take place. It was planned to start at 5 PM but my friends and I decided to meet there and 7 PM. I arrived a few minutes after 7 PM and only saw the last two songs. They were less lucky as they were late and the concert was already over. It was 7.30 PM. The jazz concert started at 5 PM and only lasted for 2 hours and something. How disappointing the city is!

The people I met were some young Europeans mostly doing some internships all over in Brussels. None of them seemed lucky to be living in Brussels. None of them seemed unhappy either. They could appreciate the city but never love it or hate it. Almost all of them would share those kind of emotions.

What is actually wrong with this city? Is this just a boring capital of Belgium and Europe? An average city? Too many dull people? EU bureaucrats? We are not in the right networks yet? Or maybe it is our lives that are too boring and filled with work that is ok but not enjoyable?

Having hundreds thousands of expats here, it should be a great city to live in. However, they are not special and undistinguishable from the locals anymore. No more fun. No more networks. I do believe that my species is somewhere here. Hiding from the daylight and plunging into the night of music, amazing individuals and conversations, fancy drinks and movie atmosphere.

I hope some magnetic power brings us together. The sooner, the better.

la vie est un film - commencé!

Out of all my not really positive feelings recently reflected on this blog, I do have to admit that Brussels can be kind of cool. So what do I really like about the city and my life here?

My job is ok. I can't complain about the salary or the other conditions. For the moment, it doesn't take more time of my personal life that needed either. Work mates are extremely nice and helpful even though they are mostly not the kind of people I have great connection with. It's not this exciting or thrilling (especially in terms of working environment) kind of job but I do appreciate all the good aspects of it. And I also started liking driving in Brussels and sort of enjoy it. I am less and less stressed about being a driver and being a driver in the city I hardly know.

I do like my flat and my flat mates are nice too. I have all kind of facilities I need. I don't live far from the centre either.

Those people, who know me, know that one of the weirdest thing about me is that I like the metro and its smell. I realize it's bizarre but that is the fact. It's always pretty much the same in every city and Brussels is not an exception. What I also like about it here is the music played all the time at the stations. They either play very shitty music like Samanta Fox or Kim Wilde or some classical fancy music. I like both shitty music and fancy music so it totally matches with my music taste (or lack of it).

I had the first "life is a movie" moment. Desperate for some wonderful social life, a friend and I went to the Grand Casino in Brussels for "Dia de Argentina" to taste the free Argentinean wine, be in a fancy place and watch the tango show. We happened to meet a cool girl working for the embassy of Argentina. We later ended up in the car with her, her bosses (some diplomats / relatives of diplomats) on the way to some other party somewhere in Brussels. How random and great was that. We are in touch now and we both plan to have more "life is a movie" moments with each other. Hamdullah for this break through.

I wish I could write that Brussels is so international and this is so great but Rabat was less international but still international in its best way. Not the case here unfortunately.

Well, being aware of my too high expectations I will let time and my actions improve it and make it more livable.

And so will it happen very soon. No question about it.