Europe

Is it because we always miss the places that we are currently not in? Because we cannot value what we have at the very moment? To some extent it may be the truth. But is it in this case? I don’t know. I pretty much believe that I just love Europe and I truly miss it. Not because, I live elsewhere for the moment. It’s because it is the place to be and the place to live.

I can imagine living somewhere else (like Morocco) for good but to be honest I don’t really want this. I would love to keep visiting Morocco all my life but only to put my ass on the beach in Agadir or go for a party in Marrakesh or Casa :) However, not to work and live here anymore.

I want to live in Europe. Because, it’s entertaining, beautiful, small, diversified and it’s very practical as a place to live – the living conditions are high comparing to the rest of the world. Or because the salaries here are high in comparison with the other parts of the world which makes the traveling to the other countries (where the prices are smaller) so cheap. What I also appreciate is the European Union. I know it’s not perfect. But admit – who could say 30 years ago that it would be possible to go from Tallin to Madrid without passport? To pay with one currency? After hundreds of years of wars among all the European nations the continent is unified more than ever. Hitler who divided the Europe 60 years ago by the worst war ever must be really surprised now, speechless.

Living in any European country seems like living in all of them at the same time. Because there are no borders, because it is so easy and cheap to travel within it.

Can you imagine a better place to live? (ok, except NY:) ) I can’t.

Bem-vindo a Lisboa

So today, the time has come to see the capital. I couldn’t leave this country without seeing Lisbon. Just see the newly uploaded pics to realize how beautiful the city is. I went there on my own. That’s actually the best way to explore the city. Ok, it’s not the best way in general (you may miss a lot of places without having a person who knows them very well) but the best only for me :) I just love wandering across the city with no destination. Alone – with my camera only. Taking the streets that I like, with no other criteria whatsoever. No rush – I feel like the time is on my side.

So I took the bus from Leiria (a city between Lisbon and Porto where I’m staying and where Catarina comes from) to Lisbon. It took almost 2 hours. When I arrived I actually didn’t know what to do. I had no guidebook, city plan or even no instructions where to go. That was even more exciting. I discovered that there was a metro station next to bus station so I went there. To my surprise I realized how much Portuguese I could understand from the metro guide hung on the wall just next to gates to the platform. Knowledge of English, French and the general understanding of the functioning of public transportation :) made it easy for me to learn how Lisbon metro works and which ticket I should buy. I arrived in a really beautiful place where the charming streets with old wooden trams seduced me and my camera :) I was wandering downtown and later near the castle of St. Jorge. Then I went to EXPO ’98 site to taste other part of the capital. Afterwards it got dark but I still managed to see Belem and then was back in the downtown where I was having some random walk until I got back to the bus station and went back to Leiria.

That’s the cultural experience that I do enjoy a lot. Sightseeing cities, taking thousands of pics, having coffee or walking in the most famous places. Recently, I have been complaining a bit about my Morocco to the extent that my friend asked me what I was still doing there if I didn’t enjoy anything (she mentioned culture too). Then I started to think. Don’t I enjoy the culture or even the country?

Let’s summarize then! What I don’t enjoy (or it’s not important for me to experience):
-the local food – I’m very picky so I always want to eat what I already know. Mc Donald’s is the best choice sometimes (I know – it’s politically incorrect but I love the food from Mc Donald’s – feel free to hate me, I just love it and I’m proud to admit it loudly :) ),
-tradition, religion (e.g. Ramadan or some feasts) – just doesn’t appeal to me… what can I do about it? You’ve maybe noticed that – I barely write about the tradition,
-the countryside – well, I can go there for a while but I’m quickly bored,
-the traditional part of the cities (like medinas in Morocco) – I enjoyed it the first time but later it was too tiring and annoying,
-interacting with the locals, being invited by them – I was trying this many times but I always feel uncomfortable being invited by a random person (even if I know it’s part of the culture and it’s 100% safe). I just feel uncomfortable, unsafe and I’m thinking of escaping as soon as possible,
-shopping – maybe I don’t enjoy because I don’t have money, maybe the local products are just not interesting. I’m not a shopping person anyway,
-music, dances or movies – it’s hard to raise my interest by these pieces of culture (Bollywood music and movies are exception though but it’s rather a coincidence),

Then what do I enjoy?:

-as described above - the sightseeing of the famous or charming places in some big cities,
-having a lunch (not traditional of course :) ) or a coffee in a famous place or street (not a traditional place like e.g. medina),
-having conversation with the cool people (some locals or internationals – doesn’t matter) about some interesting (from my perspective) topics,
-experiencing the urban lifestyle (night life included) and all that is connected to luxury (I wish I could afford it! – in such cases I don’t mind being invited :) ),
-taking the metro – I know it sounds stupid but I really enjoy it! Probably because metro is such an urban invention – sort of a symbol of a city,
-the architecture – my love to the architecture has been present all my life.

So now you see how to make me happy and how to avoid making me unhappy :)

Another issue - I wrote a few times about Morocco you can easily see the division between traditional Morocco and the modern one and you can pick each of them whenever you want. Recently, I’ve been picking only the modern one – I enjoy it much more. For the traditional part I don’t mind seeing it but not more than once. A good example is Fez – a very traditional-looking city in Morocco. I really enjoyed it the first time I was there. Later, I was there at least 4 times more (to play the role of a guide for my parents, to receive someone at the airport or to arrive from France etc) and each time I was praying to leave soon. After seeing the traditional Fez once I was done with it forever. There is nothing more that I could see there or that could entertain me. The modern parts of Morocco (like Agdal in Rabat with my favorite café Bert’s) always appeal to me and I can spend there a lot of time always. There are still a lot of places in Morocco that are famous and considered by me as traditional. I do want to see them but not more than once.

Another interesting (and shocking) discovery about myself. I don’t have the need to explore any other cultures deeply. If you know the iceberg model of culture I can tell you that it’s enough for me to explore the visible top (shame on me most of you would say, wouldn’t you?). I don’t have to know what is under the water. The first days of being in a new country are always exciting for me. The more you stay the more negative things you realize. So I prefer to stay short enough not to discover them and to keep the positive image of the place. Even if it’s not true, even if it’s fake. That’s why I don’t want to live in any other country before I settle down (and settling down will be soon I hope). I want the next country to be the last one for me (however, maybe not PL). I love traveling and I will be doing this for all my life. I will explore many countries but I won’t stay in any of them too long in order to see the exciting part only – without the boringm daily routine that keeps catching me in Morocco more and more. Just the top of the iceberg as it must be like with the wedding cake I guess – the top is the most delicious part ;) Well, maybe the only place I want to taste as my home for couple of months is New York but this is an exception.

So what do you think about my all these politically incorrect conclusions of mine? :)

Bienvenida a Madrid

So here I am! I arrived in Madrid and after around 30 minutes from leaving the airport I was robbed in the subway. The pick-pocketer stole my wallet and I even didn't feel it. I lost 40 euro and around 1000 Moroccan dirhams (around 100 euro) plus all the documents and the debit card. I went to report it at the police station and blocked the card. Fortunately, I didn't lose the passport. Now, I have no money (literally no cash) and I'm in real financial troubles... I have only debts... It's so unbelievable! Nothing had happened to me in Morocco for 7 months (allegedly third world country) and voila here I am. A while after touching the European ground I'm robbed!

Whatever! Somehow, I'm not in the bad mood. All my friends offered help as usually. I'm especially grateful to Catarina who is here with me and helped me with everything... And when you have new problems you normally tend to forget the old ones. So, all my frustrations somehow disappeared. And I don't know why but I don't think about the way the Spanish capital welcomed me :) By the way, the city is gorgeous.

Life goes on! Tommorow at this hour I will be heading for Lisbon.

Merry Xmas.

Kamil in Spain and Portugal

So tommorow, I'm flying from Casa to Madrid, spending one night at a place of a friend of my friend (may these AIESEC networks last forever:) ), trying to explore Madrid (less than 24 hours for that) and on Sunday taking the plane from Madrid to Lisbon.

Everything thanks to my dear flat mate Catarina who invited me for Christmas with her family...

I'm so happy to go there. Not only because of seeing new countries and beautiful cities but also due to leaving Morocco. I don't know what is happening recently but things are weird here. To this extent that my friend asked me today why I am still here. In her opinion, I should leave earlier because I only complain and seem unsatisfied. Of course, I will not do it. I will stay until my job is done. I guess the problems are mostly in my attitude and I should work on it.

I will barely have Internet access during the trip there so I will not have chance to update you. I promise to bring a lot of pics!

Merry Christmas!

all good things come to an end

What a fucking irony. It seems like the life is making fun of me. It happened again. This time because of cultural differences. Just look at the previous post and guess to see why it is so ironic. Don’t ask about the reasons (what exactly the cultural differences were) – it’s too pathetic. I think I still don’t realize what is happening. Maybe I shouldn’t be worried? Of course I shouldn’t. But I am. I guess it’s just the matter of days. Not months or weeks but days. Again, I feel like losing the game… Starting from the scratch. It used to be too good to be true. Whatever. Writing here doesn’t help. It just needs to take some time to heal the wounds.

Friends were helpful again – as last time in the middle of October, as usually. To the other readers – don’t ask questions. It’s a simple story with a disgusting thing included. Something one could never expect…

Anyway, I was actually supposed to write about the fact that I’m exactly in the middle of my stay here. Exactly 6,5 months passed and 6,5 still to go. I was supposed to write how happy I am to be here and bla bla bla. There is so many posts about how happy I am here so if you feel like reading it just go to the archives. I was also supposed to write that time passes really quickly in our lives. To give you some visual taste see the pics that I found by chance on my laptop (they were put by Ida, my ex flat mate who was using my laptop with me when she was in Morocco). They were taken during my first 3 weeks here. I would normally feel very nostalgic. Not today though.

The end.
Cynically yours,
Kamil

international relation[ship]s – part deux

I have another issue to reflect. Again about relationships, again about those international ones.

Have you ever seen a movie “Not without my daughter”? It is as far as I know a real story of an American women who married a Muslim guy (Iranian) in the US. They lived a normal life in the States, had a cute daughter and all seemed to be going great. Everything was fine until they went to see his family in Tehran, Iran. Then he turned out to be a conservative Muslim and didn’t allow here to come back to the US. Her life changed into hell. She was stuck in a Muslim country and treated with no respect.

I don’t know whether this story really happened or not but for sure it’s not a fantasy and it’s possible to take place somewhere in the world. But I really wish someone could make a movie about a successful relationship between representatives of 2 different cultures (especially including Muslim person as the Muslim world is subject of so many unfair prejudices). Showing only the worst aspects doesn’t reflect the real image, divides the world into black and white, builds stupid stereotypes.

I come from a small community (a village of around 1,800 people) and there are at least two couples where the guy is Muslim and the woman is Polish – one of them is actually my dentist (a very good one indeed - comparably good with my Moroccan dentist in Rabat) :) As far as I know they are normal couples and no threatening stories are included. Life just goes on and cultural differences don’t seem to interfere.

Well, but maybe such stories are boring for movies and wouldn’t sell good…

I bet my blog doesn’t have such power of influence on people’s mind as a Hollywood movie but I hope that at least I will have small and of course positive impact on people’s prejudices and stereotypes about the country. As you probably know I live an amazing life in Morocco and the cultural differences or shocks don't deprive me of this fabulous experience me that much. And the relationships can work perfectly too! I know something about that ;) – link it with the previous post please :)

international relation[ship]s

A few days ago I was chatting with one of my friend and he confessed that he felt bad about being single. Then I told him to go for an internship ("come to Morocco" I said :). It’s more likely to meet some cool person and it’s easier when you’re abroad. He agreed with me. And a lot of people shares the same notion.

So actually why is it easier? Because, you’re in a different country and culture where no one knows you and you can let yourself do more? Because you feel more free? Because you’re an expat who is more exotic or perceived as strong and independent person and thus more popular? Because you really want to have the time of your life and live it in all its aspects? Because living for a limited period of time abroad is not actually a real, normal and standard type of life? Because your life in different country is not conventional and sometimes seems like an unreal dream?

Any other ideas? Does someone know the answer?

reflecting the future

I haven’t updated you last days. Je suis très désolé! (I’m so sorry!). Actually, I don’t know why. Maybe because nothing exciting was happening. In fact, last two weeks were kind of weird. The flat became so empty so that I don’t enjoy being there anymore. It makes me feel sad. Moreover, it is so cold there right now. Whenever you wake up in the morning it’s something like 15 degrees. Brrrr! Definitely, I feel like not spending there too much time. The weather is not good anymore either. It’s around 15-20 degree but it rains or it’s windy quite often. I guess I was caught by autumn depression (or rather melancholy, depression is too strong word).

Last weekend, we had conference for new members and as usually I could describe it using words: challenging, hectic, inspiring, motivating, exhausting, enjoying and sometimes annoying. Although last months I was kind of tired of all kinds of AIESEC conferences this time I was much more excited about it. Probably because, it meant that something is happening in my life. I didn’t have to spend all the day in the flat getting mad (that almost happened to me 2 weeks ago – I literally almost got insane!) It was great experience even though language difference kept pissing me off all the times. Conference was of course mostly in English but there were times that everyone spoke French (I don’t mind that at all because it was chance for me to practice my French and actually I realized that I can understand more and more). The problem is when people speak Arabic (of course not during the sessions but during breaks, meals etc). It’s really annoying but at least I realized that it was not that bad as during my first Moroccan conference last June. This time it was way better. And the new members are really motivated, smart and cool so the future of AIESEC in Morocco looks promising (not to mention how proud I am of LC Anfa (I’m their coach) – they really rocked the conference :) )

I used last days (weeks) to reflect about the future as well. In fact, I think that’s one of my problems. Thinking too much about the future instead of letting some things just happen and go their way – “come what may”. But I do my best not to do it too much – that’s when it comes to my private life. In terms of professional life thinking should be in place periodically (not every day of course – I would get mad).

The good thing is that I’m sure that whatever choice I’ll make about the future that is going to be a good choice. Either coming back to Poland and finishing my studies plus working at the same time or going for internship and finishing studies at the same time (but in different mode) or staying in AIESEC and finishing studies at the same time. All the choices seem good for my professional development. So why the hell is it so difficult to make the final decision? At the moment all the doors are still open but the choice must be made soon. For now, I’m the most keen on the second option. Sometimes, I just think it’s the high time for me to “settle down”, find a job, home, start earning money and get the “real life”. The factor convincing me to go for the second option is also the result of my “unwritten analysis of my life”. I asked myself once when was the time that I was the most happy during the last years of my life. It turned out that this period was my stay in Poznan (a very charming city in Poland) last year. I had a really cool internship and I lived there for 10 weeks during summer. I had a cool job, a lot of free time during which I was exploring the city or sitting at the benches in parks or squares and reading books, partying or hanging out with people. I had the mystical and magical work-life balance. Studies plus AIESEC plus some part time jobs deprive you of this balance.

Moreover, to my huge surprise I’ve recently realized that I don’t need to live in a few countries of the world and explore each of them anymore. For now, I want the next country that I will live in to be the last one. Of course, I will still be traveling but I think I don’t want to live anywhere else for long – these will be just holidays or business trips (maybe except for a few months in New York ). Maybe, I’m changing , maybe it’s just the mood recently. We’ll see soon.

polonaise

I was supposed to post this message one month ago but I guess I had other stuff to write about. It’s never too late though so enjoy reading and watching :)

It all started last week when me and my guest from Poland (beloved Ludwisia) did a "Polish night" for my flat mates here in Morocco. We prepared some "Polish" food (I'm using "" because our cooking skills were not very sophisticated and we just did some food that not necessarily is Polish but who cares! - people liked it :) ).

We also decided to show them one of traditional Polish dances called polonez (the name comes from French word “polonaise” which means Polish). I guess it just reminded me about studniowka that took place in the city of Elblag (where my high school is) in January 2003 (“studniowka” is an official party for high school graduates taking place 100 days before final exams; the word studniowka comes from Polish words for "100" and "day"). For me the party was amazing because of performing this dance itself. Normally, in every school each student and teacher dances it together which makes hundreds of people dancing at the same time – believe me! That looks fabulous! However, in my school there was more. Before the dance of everyone, there was an incredible performance of 12 couples (including me:) Our performance was much more fancy and complicated that the one that we did together with the rest of our school mates. We wore amazing outfits borrowed from the theater in Gdansk – guys had military costumes from beginning of XIX century (from the time when Poland was fighting along with France (ruled by Bonaparte) against whole Europe). Girls had white dresses similar to wedding ones. We danced in a huge hall with foyer around. They could see us from the 1st or 2nd floor. The only one disadvantage of being involved in dancing was that one couldn’t see this beautiful view from the top – I was just later told that it was really gorgeous!

I’ll never forget the strong lights directed on our side along with people’s looks, loud but graceful music and all the powerful atmosphere – it was an enlightening experience ;)

But let’s travel back to 2007. As you can see the Polish night has woken up some old memories in me. Yesterday, I was sitting in my office and listening to polonez music again… I also downloaded the movie with the most famous polonez (Pan Tadeusz), showed some parts of it to my flat mates and was happy to see how much they were amazed.

The firt one just below is the original one from the movie.



Others at the end of the post show the dance performed at "studniowka" balls. They are some random videos found on youtube.

Watch it and enjoy it!

Happy to share some part of Polish culture ;)

personal growth

The title seems very serious and probably I’ve built some expectations in terms of its content. I’m not going to fulfill them. This post will be about growth, however in the most silly way.

One thing that I’ve just realized I’ve learnt here in Morocco is how to… look better at the pictures.

Yes. Because of so many trips, sightseeing, parties etc I was object of much more pics that ever in Poland. That made learn how to smile to look nicer and actually I’m more satisfied with me on the photos. Go to my picasa or Facebook to see how beautiful I am :P

I know – I’m so vain and narcissistic :P

[Catarina and Kamil] home alone

in the order of leaving:
Kojo (US)
Ida (US)
Tracy (US)
Daisy (US)
Alex (US)
Sadia (NL)
Sara (NL)
Christina (US)
Allen (US)
Cynthia (US)
Suzanne (NL)
Verena (DE)
Katusha (NL)
Tess (CA)
Naoufel (Morocco)
Amy (UK)
Charlotte (DE)
Khalil (TN)
Hayat (MA/NL)
Mona (EG/UK)
Arnica (NL)
Felicia (RO)
Yahaira (MX)
Ashley (US)
Dimitra (GR)

So it finally happened. I actually thought that it had already happened when I came back from Turkey but at that point I fortunately was wrong.

Now, it’s really happening. In my big flat, with four bedrooms, two bathrooms, toilet, kitchen, three balconies and huge living room there are only two (2) people living (I’m not counting ants and jumping spiders). Me and my dear Catarina from Portugal (hopefully, she’ll stay here long otherwise I’ll be totally alone!). Other 6 people left within last 10 days. And there is no one coming I guess until January or February or … who knows!

I don’t know if any of you has ever seen a movie called L’Auberge Espagnole. If not, please do it and thus you will have the chance to feel in what kind of environment I (I unfortunately must use this word) USED TO live.

Being in this flat with some many people was so crazy, funny, tough, challenging, cool and who knows what kind of other words I could use to describe it.

Just read what is going to change now:

There won’t be crazy parties with more than 30 people at the same time.
I will always know who is sleeping in the flat.
There will be much less mess.
The garbage will not be overflowing.
The refrigerator will be almost empty and it won’t smell bad.
12 roles of toilet paper will not be finished within 3 days.
I will be able to take shower without being threatened that someone will be doing the dishes at the same time at thus the stream of water will be smaller and colder.
There will be not that many random people in the flat.
All the buckets will be free without wet laundry of others.
It will be so fucking quiet.
There will be no long talks at night about life.
There will be no Romanian, Egyptian, Dutch, American and many many other nights with fabulous food.
There will be no neighbors pissed off with us dancing or listening to the music or doing thousands of other things.
The bottle with gas for hot water will be enough for one month and not one week.
There will be hardly any dirty dishes in the sink.
The kitchen sink will not be stuck with food and the bathroom stink will not be stuck with hair.
There will be no clothes hanging on the balconies.
There will be no having meals on the balcony with others.
The glasses and plates will not be being broken that often.
The door will not be slammed so many times.
The water and electricity bills will be smaller (but only in one month or something because we receive them delayed).
The bills for phone and Internet will remain the same.
Probably, we will still have cockroaches and lizards from time to time.
2 bedrooms will be totally empty first time since my arrival.
You will not have time wait in queue for the shower.
There will be no empty shampoo (and who knows what else) bottles under the shower.
There will be no people not letting you sleep or waking you up earlier than you were supposed to wake up.
There will be only one person saying “Oh Kamil! French fries again!”
We will not need another flipchart for writing down names of new people.
There will be less entertainment events.
We will not be going out that much.
There will be way less guests.
You will not be asked by others if you need anything from Label’Vie
There will be no group “picking coffee” in L’Equipe
There will be no guests of guests.
The door ring will almost stop ringing.
The downstairs door ring will almost stop ringing as well and you no longer will have to go downstairs to open the door because the button on the ”brown phone” doesn’t work.
The time when there is no one in the flat will be much often than the time of presence of at least one person.
There will be no people pissed off because of me listening to Bollywood songs or Madonna all the time.
No one will be pissed off not being able to find the kitchen lighter (usually taken by Catarina).
The kitchen lighter will not be lost anymore.
The red-black blanket will not be on the balcony anymore.
There won’t be thousands of laptops, plugs and cables on the table in the living room.
The Internet connection will be faster.
There will be no more people making fun of me being with (or under) my laptop.
There will be no people in their pyjamas.
There will be no more mud on the floor in the bathroom.
There will be more empty beds that the occupied ones.
Random guests or random guests of guests will not have to sleep on the floor anymore.
There will be no more friends/families from home countries.
There will be enough chairs (or too many?).
There will be no fear of plastic table in the living room collapsing because of too many things on it.
The kitchen closet will be almost empty.
To use a fork/spoon/knife/plate etc you will not have to wash it but just take it from the closet with clean dishes.
Kitchen-to-balcony door will be probably closed all the time.
There will be no more spoiled, grouse food.
There will be less grouse things in general.
The oven will not be opening itself and banging against the hard surface of the kitchen blat.
There will be enough place to cook stuff.
Your food will not be disappearing.
I won’t hear anymore “Kamil, the gas is over!/Kamil, when do we have hot water?/Kamil, will you buy the gas today?
There will be no people whom I had to help in opening window or balcony door in the living room.
There will be no more people asking me to throw away the garbage.
There will be no more people openly imitating the funniest things about our other flat mates.
I will have no room mate.
The kitchen sink will be probably empty most of the time.
There will be no more grouse leftovers on the table with thousand of ants eating them.
There will be no cleaning lady twice a week (no money for that :( )
There will be no bed sheets falling from the balcony and being brought back to the flat by some random Moroccan people.
There will be no more police in the flat.
The sound of falling nob in the bathroom will be much more rare.
There will be no new names on the “do you have facebook?” flipchart.
There will be no more AIESEC dances.
There will be no more postcards.
There will be no more weekend trips to different parts of the country.
There will no “Sex and the City” and other movies/TV series being watched together by more than two people.
There will be no more people complaining that the rent is too high.
I won’t be going to the bank so often to pay the money on the bank account.
There will be no loud “good morning” in the morning.
There will be no my favorite hair straightening device.
All the sheets and pillow-cases will be clean now.
It’s gonna be so empty now.
You will be able to use toilet or bathroom without closing the door.
My “flat accounting journal” will have almost no entries.


Oh fuck! I’m so gonna miss EVERYTHING listed above!

one night only – part deux

Greetings from the airport in Marseille, France where except me, there are only several people (I’ve never seen such a tiny terminal!). I have so little experience of traveling by planes but so relatively big experience of spending nights at the airports (Frankfurt, Casablanca and now Marseille). I’m unlucky but at least I don’t pay much for the tickets and this is probably the reason why my flights are at so weird times of the day and night.

To update you about my night in Casablanca (see the last post). After I finished that post, I interacted with the guard again. I was sitting at his office and charging my battery. Afterwards, I sat with him and he was teaching me French and some Arabic and I was teaching him some Polish. Then we were together reading some French magazine (not porn :P). It was so cool cause I was speaking French!!! :) Then he let me sleep on the soft coach of the cafeteria near his office whereas other people at the airport were sleeping on the uncomfortable, plastic seats. It’s good to have a big network of contacts :D

And today, it is my last night in France.

But let’s have some flashbacks of my stay here. After I arrived in Paris I waited a bit in the centre for one of MC members who were supposed to pick me up. In the meantime, I was admiring Paris. You should have seen me wandering around some random square and enjoying literally everything! Then sitting in a café and thinking “I’m in Paris!!!!!!!!” It’s because I love this city so much but still don’t know why. And the most weird thing – I enjoyed cold! I couldn’t believe that I actually liked the low temperature and this autumn weather that I couldn’t experience in Morocco. The air was so cool and fresh. The sky so grey and the leaves so yellow or orange. The soft wind touching my skin. I missed autumn – I couldn’t believe that.

But then, Paris decided to show his cruel face. The day I arrived the national strike started. It affected public transportation. Most of the lines of the metro were either delayed or suspended. Even my TGV from Marseille to Paris was cancelled but at that point I already knew that I wouldn’t take this train anyway since I was already in Paris. And I’m gonna get reimbursement for that.

Then the conference preparation started. It took us the rest of Tuesday and the whole Wednesday. Thursday morning, we took the bus from Paris to Bordeuax where the conference was supposed to take place. The bus was delayed and furthermore the whole trip lasted for almost 10 hours and because of that the conference started at 7PM instead of 3PM. We decided to move morning plenary to the next day and at the first day we only did the sessions that we planned to.

The conference was a challenge because of many delegates canceling their presence because of strikes. Secondly, we had logistical problems and our level of content preparation left much to be desired. However, despite all these problems we managed to deliver an amazing conference and the delegates were awesome too! It was such a cool experience!

On Sunday, I came back to Paris and on Monday morning by chance I managed to catch wi fi connection in the MC flat and as it turned out – only to get the bad news. My train from Paris to Marseille was called off which meant I didn’t have a mean to catch my plane on Tuesday. Unbelievably calm, I left the flat to have some sightseeing of Paris. I saw Arche de Trumph, Champs Elysees and Louvre (see the pics). Then I met my friend from high school – Agata and we spent nice time too hanging out in the city.

But eventually, I had to face my morning problem and went to Gare de Lyon to ask about my train. It turned out that I needed to buy another ticket for another train and spent seventy fucking seven (77) euro!!! I was so pissed off!!! I will be reimbursed for both cancelled train tickets but it’s only 57 euro in total! I’m gonna see if I can get more. France is extremely messed up country. I could rather expect it from Poland or Morocco but my worldview and my budget were challenged really painfully.

After taking the most expensive train in my life ever I arrived in Marseille where I met Cindy (LCP) and her team member Arnaud (VPTM). They were really cool and we had a drink in a cozy pub. Afterwards, I went to catch the last airport shuttle which I thought I missed and I almost got heart attack thinking of missing my plane to Fez and spending more money (not my money of course since I already have debts – rather borrowing money from others). Luckily, it was another bus and in a while I was sitting inside waiting for getting at the airport.

*** I have been just kindly kicked out from the Terminal 2 and asked to go to Terminal 1. #2 will be closed now (0.30AM) and reopened at 4AM. #1 is way bigger but still with few people looks like a ghost airport. Even some toilettes were closed (where am I supposed to sleep? :D kidding) and of course I couldn’t find a plug but this is normal everywhere I guess. Everything here is so weird and surreal. ***

Experiencing France, even though the tough challenges, was so cool. However, something that I was afraid of happened. It’s either scary or exciting – you must judge it. My plans for next year have to be really thoroughly considered and reviewed. I know that Paris would be a cool place for spending next year(s) but still one question needs to answered. As interns or as …? you know who! A lot of factors that I cannot influence has to be taken into consideration and decision will be made really soon.

More in the next episodes! :)

PS And now, back to the reality – still waiting for my plane for the next 6 hours , then flying to Fez, catching the awful, falling apart #16 bus to the station and spending 3 hours in the train to Rabat. But I still love my life :)

news directly from the Casa airport

Apparently, I succeeded in getting connected. The story is hilarious.

I was sitting on the floor near a plug and watching one of my favorite episodes of SATC when I was approached by a guard who started watching with me. Then his friends came and we were all watching for a while. Then he invited me to a cafeteria near where he bought me Internet access voucher. He didn’t let me pay of course (as usual Moroccan) but obviously wanted something in return. He and his friends wanted to see … some porn movies. Yes… I said I had no porn movies but the guy was smart and he suggested google. With no excitement I agreed for that. His smartness was not deep and he (actually they) didn’t manage to find what they were looking for. All the sites were either non-free or they had to give email to receive some passwords etc etc Their excitement cooled down and so did the battery in my laptop (I actually made the process of the battery dying a bit faster to finish this embarassing story:). Then others went to sleep and the first one invited me to his office to charge my laptop (I may seem stupid for letting be involved in such stories but it was at the airport and they worked here so all seemed fine – anyway, whoever comes here to Morocco, s/he always happens to meet some Moroccans who are usually very good at making new friendships and providing you with involvement in funny stories; one has to understand that they usually don’t want to hurt or cheat you in anyway but they’re just very open and friendly – ask anyone else who was here). In the office (where I’m now), my airport friend is eating his breakfast/dinner (whatever – it’s 2 AM) and drinking the yoghurt I gave him (in return for Internet access) and I’m writing this post :) My check in starts in 3 hours. I wonder what else can happen here.

I’ll keep you updated :)

PS I was (and I am) speaking French with them! I understand most of the things and I can express a lot too! That's so cool!

Kamil in France

So as you may know I’m traveling to France today. Actually, I’m at the Mohamed V Airport in Casablanca, Morocco right now (not at the moment of posting but at the moment of writing). There is wi fi here but unfortunately you have to buy some credits and the place where they sell them is closed :( it doesn’t work with my debit card either (it’s high time to ask my Polish bank for credit card!). There is one additional stupid thing here at this airport. There is a huge terminal with wi fi but I didn’t find any plug available for users. I was lucky to plug my laptop at the information desk (which is closed right now otherwise I would be kicked out).
I got at the airport around 1h ago and will have to wait until 5 AM when my check in starts. Again, night at the airport. I’m thinking of a place to have a nap – toilet again as I did in Frankfurt in June? :)

*** I’ve been just approached by two nice policemen who took my passport, wrote down some info from it, gave it back, asked a few questions and then wished me “bon voyage!” ***

So, today was my one-day-before-departure day. As it usually happens, I was extremely pissed off and stressed. First of all, I was not supposed to spend night at the airport but be driven here by car. Unfortunately, my friend couldn’t make it :( Then I started thinking about all my travels, tickets, trains, reservation, luggage limits and all these shits. My Thursday TGV train from Marseille to Paris was cancelled due to strike just one day after I changed my flight and decided not to take this train. Nice, isn’t it? If I hadn’t decided to become faci I would be in serious problems. I’m still afraid about my Monday train (from Paris to Marseille). I emailed SNCF (French “PKP”) to give me money back for my cancelled train (they proposed either changing date or getting money back). I hope they won’t cancel my Monday train too. Otherwise, I will not catch my morning flight from Marseille to Fez next Tuesday (btw, exactly in one week I’ll be spending night at the airport – this time in Marseille). Another thing – next Monday I will come back from Bordeaux at 14.30 and my train to Marseille leaves at 15.20. It’s supposed to be enough but slight delay may cause me a lot of troubles. Next issue, my luggage for Marseille-Fez trip is only 10 kilos. I resigned from checked-in baggage and will have only hand baggage. That was stupid but the decision was made in August and at that time my trip to France was supposed to be shorter. Now, I hope they will not ask me to throw away some of my stuff.

Ok, I think these are all my frustrations for now.

Positive things – I’m going to Paris!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAA!!!! So cool !!!! I love this city !!! :) :) :) I’ll be faci at a conference of AIESEC in France. I will travel a lot within France (Paris>Bordeaux>Paris>Marseille). I won’t have much time for sightseeing though but hopefully will be able to take some pics and see the coolest places.
I also believe that the conference will be a chance to review my long term goals – especially in terms of “what to do next term?”.

That’s gonna be crazy week! Sometimes probably stressful and tiring but for sure I will remember it for a long time.

Keep your fingers crossed for my flights, trains, reservations and all that stuff.

may these networks last forever – part 3

My France plans have just changed!

But from the beginning… As you know a few weeks ago I booked TGV to Paris not to spend 5 days in Marseille only. I was in touch with my friend (an AIESECer who moved from Rabat to Paris) in order to have possibility of staying in Paris with some friends of him, instead of booking a hostel. Somehow MC (Member Committee) got to know that I was traveling to France and they offered me opportunity of being faci (=facilitator) at their National Conference “Spark” since one of the faci selected before had just resigned. Firstly, the negotiations about reimbursement, quick “interview” through gmail chat and checking possibilities of changing my flight and TGV. Then actually booking new flight, reaching agreement and getting down to work! The whole process took one evening and one morning – it was completely unexpected and unusual. But I it was fun.

It’s gonna be totally crazy! This Saturday I have one day local conference in Casablanca. On Tuesday (instead of Thursday which was the previous plan) I’m flying to Paris. 2 days of premeeting and then going for the conference to Bordeaux. Then back to Paris, taking TGV to Marseille and flying to Fez. And after being back in Morocco, hectic preparation to our National Conference “Kick-off”. That’s totally crazy but I enjoy it. It’s even more exciting since it involves different locations on different continents :)

And there is much more good things going on in my personal live but it’s not the place to write about it. Go to SATM to read it (if you don't know what it means just ignore it ;)

I so much like it! Everything! :)

people - part 4 "friends and impact"

I've just finished chatting with a few friends of mine. The discussions were on different topics. Either silly jokes, making fun of everything, sending each other stupid pics or movies or updating each other what we've recently been up to or serious discussing about the life.

It's not about the topics of course - it's about the people with whom you can talk about EVERYTHING. And again, I'm grateful that I have so many wonderful people around me! Here in Morocco and in other countries all over the world! Thank you all!

Another thing worth mentioning. I bet that many bloggers have same impressions like me - are our blogs read by others? Does the NeoCounter show the truth? Does [supposedly] hundreds of visitors really get our messages? Recently, I've been blogging about my problems and challenges in my personal life. It was hard but I managed not to be depressed and not to be deprived of the feeling that I love my life. I do love it! But, what's the greatest is that after reading my thoughts my good friend really got inspired and I guess she agrees with me when it comes to such philosophy of life. I'm so happy that I can help others! I'm so happy that I'm making the positive impact on others' lives! It’s an amazing feeling! Believe me!

Make life of others and yours more beautiful! :)

An inspirational video for the end:

balance

Yesterday, I was talking to my dear and old friend from Poland (friends since 2002) and was trying to cheer her up (everyone has challenges in theirs lives!).

The outcome of this conversation was:
-one shouldn't focus their lives on their families - it will hurt too much when a member of your family dies!
-one shouldn't focus on earning money - it will be hard to survive when your money is gone or when you have less of them than usually!
-one shouldn't focus on job - retirement or losing job will be tough to face!
-one shouldn't focus on relationship - they never last forever!
-one shouldn't focus on friends - they come and go or if not that, they die eventually!
-one shouldn't focus on any single thing! if you lose the centre of your life, the supreme goal you will be really depressed and recovery process will take too long (in worst cases it may never finish)

So what should you do?
What I do and what seems quite successful is to try to have balance between every aspect of your life. It's not easy but it's possible (anyway, who says life is easy??:) You have to care about friends, family, love, money, work and anything else that is important in your life. But don't put too much focus on only one aspect with forgetting about other ones! I don't say that I'm expert in achieving that but I've got the feeling that I'm closer and closer to ideal state. You have to diversify sources of your happiness. In case you lose one, you will still have others to keep you in better shape!

Enjoy living balanced life! :)

emigracja zawsze razem

This post is dedicated to amazing people spread around the world (Ecuador, Colombia, New Zealand, Bulgaria, Belgium, Ukraine, the Netherlands, Latvia, Kyrgyzstan, Morocco - random order) who have something in common. They are all AIESECers, they were all working in AIESEC in Poland previously and they are no longer working for AIESEC in Poland but for AIESEC in other countries (or are on internships).

Although, I didn't know all of them very well before, now I must admit that it's totally different. It's the fact that we are all in the same situation, facing the same challenges, the same successes, the same problems, the same frustrations and having the best experience ever (at least for me:)

It's so fucking great to listen to others' experiences and have the feeling that you are listening to your own experience. It's so cool that you can share the same things and others will totally understand you!

It's so great to have someone to whom you can tell everything that you normally wouldn't say here!

Thanks for having you!

Emigration always together!

Alignment between Individual & Organiztional Goals

One of the critical success factors (CSF) for assuring high volume of experiences of AIESEC members is a state when individuals' goals are aligned with organizational ones. The explanation for that is quite simple. You're more motivated to work for the organization when you clearly see the benefits that you gain yourself.

I'm proud to admit that I'm a good case practice for that CSF :) My Finance role in AIESEC in Morocco is not only building basics of finance and developing people here - it is also a great experience for me as an individual since this is the area where I want to work in the future.

Last time, I realized that there is much more "alingment points". On Monday, I was preparing for the meeting with Younes (LCP that I'm coach of). I wanted to talk to him about EB management and then I realized that while preparing I gained a lot of knowledge about LCP role and moreover, I'm sure my LC coach role will surely bring me more leadership knowledge and experience which is of course essential when/if I apply for MCP.

There are bunches of other examples but I don't feel I need to write about everything right now. The post would be too long.

I just love my job:)

betterment

So finally, it's much better here in Morocco! I'm definitely better! I owe it to awesome people - my friends who were supporting me throughout last days and secondly, my dentist :) Yes, my wonderful dentist got rid of the most horrible toothache, I've ever had! I still have one visit on Tuesday but I think the worst is already behind me! Today was a better day as well since I spent it by having more contact with people - not like last days when I was stuck in my room suffering from the pain(s). And I have cool plans for tomorrow as well.

And another wonderful news! I'm going to France in mid of November (I must travel because I don't have Moroccan visa - you know this already). You also know that I paid only 25 euro (incl. return ticket) for Fes-Marseille route (God bless RyanAir!). Today, I've booked TGV tickets to get to Paris!!! (and of course I managed to get a good price - 56 euro incl. return) which means that I won't spend 5 days in Marseille but I will be in wonderful Paris! Whoo hooo! The last and first time I was in Paris was in 2000 and I've been dreaming of coming back there ever since! This is gonna be an awesome weekend! Meeting some old friends, wandering within the city, taking pics, practising my French and enjoying the atmosphere! Can't wait! 24 days and counting!

And booking confirmation :)

stuck

I guess this is the worst week I've had here so far. Not only break up but also horrible tootache that I've been suffering from since Wednesday/Thursday night. I cannot do anything. I just try to sleep or sit in front of laptop and watch movies.

On Wednesday, I went to the dentist to fix one of my teeth. He did it partially and set a next meeting on next Thursday. But after the appointment it started to hurt awfully :( Painkillers don't help at all. I don't know if I'm supposed to wait until next Thursday or what? I hope I will make it or the pain will be gone. Btw, going to dentist in Morocco was totally fine (conditions were good).

Oh crap! I'm really fed up with this everything :( I love my life in general but these days it's really shit...

people - part 3 "friends"

Today, I was supposed to work a lot during the day and in the evening as well but somehow I didn't manage to achieve as much as I wanted. First of all, it was too hard for me to focus on work after what happened on Monday (see the previous post). Secondly (and it is related to "first of all"), I was almost all the time either chatting with someone on the Internet or talking face to face. Why? I needed to share my frustrations and talk about what hurt me recently (see the previous post). And I must admit that talking a lot about all bad things that happened really helps.

But this post is NOT gonna be about how I feel after Monday. It’s gonna be about awesome people that are either here in Morocco or in Poland or in bunches of other countries and they care about what I feel and although hardly anything can make me feel better they are doing their best to help me. Friends, colleagues, work/flat/room mates – no matter which word you will use. There is a Polish proverb saying ‘Przyjaciol poznaje sie w biedzie’ which means (not literally but just the meaning) that you see the true friends when you’re in troubles or when you have problems. And I’m so thankful that I have such people here and so many of them passed this ‘test’ today. Thank you all! I’m not even going to try to count how many of you wanted to cheer me up today through MSN, skype, GG or just by talking face to face! Big thanks! Love ya all!

I’ve always valued friendship more than relationship with other person. Am I still right? Is friendship more than relationship? Hard to compare. Some things you get only through friendship, some only through relationship. I think the best is to have both and to combine them which is of course possible. For now, I have friends and I’m extremely happy about that!

For all my friends a snapshot about friendship from 'Sex and the City' of course! (it’s just one minute – watch it! it took me a while to find it!:)

single :(

The title says everything :( What can I add more?

At least, I should be thankful for having true friends who can pick me up from the train station and take for ice-creams to make me feel better. Thank you, Ashley and Catarina! :)

AIESEC updates

What’s new in AIESEC in Morocco?

Last week, the school year started and at the same time I started working in the office – not in my flat anymore. I feel it’s much better for me. Instead of working whole day at home I do AIESEC stuff in the office and the later I’m usually free to do my personal stuff or not to do anything :)

What’s more we have a new office!! Actually it’s one additional room which is bigger than the current one which means that our office space has more than doubled! Another thing is that from today we have wireless Internet connection in the office!! Our infrastructure develops rapidly! :)

My work goes fine as well. I’ve realized a lot of my plan so far and I feel that finance here really starts to work! I have also noticed how I have changed thanks to being part of Member Committee and how I have developed but this is a topic for a separate post. However, there is still a lot more to be done in terms of finance management. I enjoy working with my VPFs without whom it would be much more difficult to change anything for better.

My second important role after MCVPF (MCVPF=Member Committee Vice President Finance) is LC coach (LC=Local Committee) which means that I’m responsible for development and support of one of our local office based in Casablanca. The current reality there is really harsh as there are really few members, no money, no knowledge. But the current LCP (LCP=Local Committee President – head of this office) is really motivated and has a good understanding of how things should go. Together we will make it work (as we say – from zero to hero:) ). The recruitment there is about to start and this would be a moment of truth since it is a really crucial period in every LC life.

The structure of AIESEC in Morocco is not very complicated – there is MC (7 people) +NST (NST=National Support Team, 5 people) and 3 LCs. One of the LC (Les Ambassadeurs) and MC are located in the same school in Rabat. LC office is just next to us so obviously we often meet each other. Second LC (Hassan) is situated in another school just 5 minutes walk from MC and Les Ambassadeurs. This may seem illogical but actually LC Hassan and school that hosts it were located somewhere else and since the school changed its location the LC had to move as well. The third LC (Anfa) is in Casablanca. There is also one huge and very good university in Ifrane (a small city next to Fes) where we will probably open fourth LC. Hopefully, there will be more expansions next years. The name of the LC usually comes from the name of the city district when it’s located (compendium forbids to name the LC with the name of the city or the university). Regarding my MC team, there will be a very crucial and positive change within its structure but I cannot give you more details! However, I’m extremely excited!

Working in a small AIESEC country means that you do more operational stuff and not only strategic things. You are also more close to members which is often very good – what would be working in AIESEC without working with people? – especially those who are just starting their AIESEC paths. LC Les Ambassadeurs invited me last time to say a few words during info session for potential members. It was so cool to speak about my international experience in front of around 100 students interested or considering joining AIESEC. We’ll see how many of them will join the LC.

And the future – I don’t want to give too many details right now about my future in AIESEC. I’ll just tell you that I’m trying to gather as much information as possible and to think of possible solutions of many challenges I currently have so that in December I will take the best decision possible. Sooner or later, you will know it ;)

I'm soooo fine :)

What is happening back here in Morocco? People are partying just behind the wall and I’m sitting in front of my laptop in my room on my own. It’s not for the first time. This has been happening for a few weeks now! – either working or watching my favorite TV shows / Bollywood movies or listening to music or chatting with my old friends or studying French or thinking about my potential future year in AIESEC… My flat mates seem to do their best to make me join them but they hardly ever succeed.

What’s my answer to questions posted on the beginning of the post? – I don’t give a shit! I don’t care as soon as I feel comfortable with how it is. I got the feeling that my development is going towards the right direction. And when it comes to people it’s about quality not quantity so I make sure I take care of the right relations. So why should I care?

It’s not time to party – it’s time to seek for challenges. It’s time to jump ;)

And for the end of the post listen to one of my favorite Bollywood song (just recently found) from awesome movie ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’

something cool recently found on Facebook

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting! This is a cool thing check it out.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

5th year student

I can finally say that I'm 5th year student and I can enjoy my year off here in Morocco. Although I passed all my exams in May I still had to write part of my thesis in June. And I did it but in September. Last week was a bit crazy trying to get all the wpisy (signatures of professors proving that you passed the course). Actually, there were only 2 but it was challenging to get them. Then it turned out that I would need one more from library. But it was done as well. Today my indeks (a student book with all the mentioned signatures) was taken to dean's office. So I'm done with 4th year and I can officially take a year off (yes, I still haven't done it:)

I would like to thank a few people who took care of my student book: Ania W (my group mate), Tomek, Weronisia and Madzia (AIESECers from my LC in Gdansk).

Without you I would be kicked out from my university. Thanks for fighting for me having all the signatures and looking forward to future cooperation since I will still need some stuff from the dean's office.

And big kisses for LC Gdansk UG. Good luck guys with everything, especially with recruitment!

The last thing that I will mention is the fact that this autumn is the first one for me in 17 years when I don't start next school year :))

different outside, the same inside

A few days ago, I was going by car through a residential district in Rabat and I saw one house still not finished. One could see red bricks used to build it. Although all villas in Morocco are totally different than houses in Poland I noticed that we use exactly the same bricks which means that they (villas) are different outside but the same inside.

It gave me some thoughts - can we apply it to people? to cultures? to nations? Are we all different outside but the same inside? Maybe sometimes? maybe always? maybe often? maybe rarely? maybe never?

And maybe I'm stupid trying to compare bricks, residences with people, cultures etc?

What do you think?

com'n'go

Is something wrong with me? Let me explain you why I think so and I will be grateful for you giving me your opinions!

As I told people in the apartment where I live change very rapidly. They come and go and right now, I'm the oldest person in here (in terms of time that I've lived here). And recently there have been a lot of new people coming. Unfortunately, one really cool person has just left :( But hopefully, she will be back within a few days or weeks because she will probably have a job offer here. Let's pray for this!

I must admit that my current flat mates are really cool. Let me list them - Ashley (US), Mona (EG/UK), Dimitra (GR), Yahaira (MX), Hayat (NL/Morocco), Arnica (NL), Khalil (TN) and often guests Felicia (RO), Ksenija (YU) - btw, Khalil is the only guy and he will leave on Monday so there is going to be me and girls only :)

However, there is one issue. I kind of prefer to spend time alone instead of with them. It's not something about them. It's rather inside me. I guess that it's not easy for me to build a trust with them. There is no this connection that makes me feel comfortable and speak about everything. They are all nice but I have an impression that they cannot be my true friends. Although, I feel I should get along with them more there is something inside me that prevents me from doing that. I prefer to spend time in front of my laptop, working, learning French and chatting with friends.

Are these the first signs of me facing the challenge of people coming and going here? I was warned that it would not be easy to live here 13 months whereas people usually come for 2-4 months.

What am I supposed to do? Force myself to be more open which I don't feel I have such need or remain in front of my laptop what I feel like doing more but still it's very weird and not healthy I guess?

inspiring motivational nostalgic

My French

It’s been long time since I last wrote how my French is going. So – it’s not bad but it’s not good as well. I can speak a bit. I understand either the topic of the discussion or sometimes details as well. A few days ago I had a small conversation with a taxi driver. I didn’t understand everything but I got the point of the discussion. And I was able to respond a bit too.

I’ve got the feeling that I could do kind of more since I got here. Shouldn’t I speak better French after 4 months of being here? On the other hand, French is not native language in Morocco. Maybe, 4 months is not a lot at all to learn some language very well. I only had 3 weeks of an intensive course and comparing to my classmates I did quite good progress throughout these 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I am not this type of person who catches foreign language very quickly. I guess I don’t have this ability. I have to spend some time to start speaking, understanding and so on. And time… you know – there is not that much of it here.

But let’s not focus on the past anymore. Let’s look at the future. I did some efforts to be more successful in studying some French everyday (yes, I do it!) and… on Oct 15, I’m starting new course (course will finish by the end of Dec) – next level in the same school that I took my summer intensive course! It looks pretty promising. If I only am very systematic in learning on my own and if I finally start speaking French with my flat mates I may do a considerable progress.

Let’s stop talking (writing) and start acting.

changing direction

It’s been more than 3 weeks after I came back from International Congress in Turkey and I somehow feel constantly influenced by what I experienced there. Now, I can clearly see how my life changed after this event. Now I can clearly see the difference between pre-IC Kamil and post-IC Kamil.

Before IC, I was definitely enjoying my life. And now, I enjoy it now as well. So where is the difference? The way I enjoy it is totally something else.

Before IC, I was not that involved in my job here. I was doing what I was supposed to do as MCVP Finance but somehow, nothing more happened. I was not very proactive in taking new challenges and I was only realizing my plan with no passion. I was single, I was enjoying a lot of parties, I had a few “short adventures”, I was thinking of finishing AIESEC after Morocco.

Thanks to going to IC, I realized that during first weeks of being here I could have done and achieved more. I missed a few opportunities. Some aspects of my life were heading for some unknown direction. A direction that in fact has nothing to offer.

Now, I have someone (it’s not just someone but someone special:), I extremely enjoy my work, I do my best to achieve a lot, I’m pretty happy for my plans for the future and everything seems going in the right way! Nothing is of course easy and sometimes bad days happen but who says we’re gonna have everything right away.

Even today when I’m so mentally exhausted of different things, my tired face is strong enough to smile :)

Kamil vs. Morocco

I officially announce that my excitement about this country is over. I don’t say that I’ve stopped liking it. It’s just that for the past 4 months I’ve managed to see quite a lot (I’m sure there is still a lot of places that would totally surprise me). Or maybe it’s not possible to live in a place and enjoy it or being excited about it all the time.

I also wrote you about this duality of Morocco – either you want to explore real Morocco (e.g. crowded Medina) or you want to see the parts of the country influenced by Western culture (especially French) which although are in Arab country they look really European. To be honest, recently I’ve been only enjoying this European part. I’ll give you a few examples. Two weeks ago I went to Marrakesh – after one day of wandering inside the city I was only thinking about going home (I mean my home in Rabat). A few days ago, I was sightseeing Fes with my family. Although I like Moroccan medinas visually, I cannot spend there too much time. It’s just so tiring. Streets are too narrow and crowded. People seeing that you’re not Moroccan want talk to you, sell you things etc. For me it’s just too exhausting. I wanted just to escape this city and I promised myself that I would never go inside Medina of Fes or Marrakesh. That may be hard because there are still some friends of mine who want to visit me. I know that what I’ll say may be rude but I think I’ll just give them my guidebook, some tips and let them go there on their own. Seriously, I may not survive going there once more. It makes my mentally exhausted.

On the other side there are some places that I just love. Sandy beaches or small charming cities like Bouznika where my parents and me went yesterday. Or Casablanca – I just adore this city! Many people say that there is nothing interesting there and it’s just another huge, polluted, crowded and noisy metropolis. To some point they are right. But I just love it’s architecture. It’s so gorgeous! Huge and massive buildings (either for some offices or for apartments), spacious parks. I was observing the buildings and looking for a potential flat for which I could kill just to have it :) My dream is to live in a big city – a capital, somewhere in the downtown, have a flat in an old apartment-house and just enjoying living such urban lifestyle somewhere downtown in the heart of a city. Casablanca as a city fulfills such criteria. Rabat is nice as well but although it’s a big city it’s very slow and calm. I need it to be a bit faster. Casablanca has its soul and spirit. Even if the streets are crowded and noisy at least the avenues are really wide which I love as well.

I’ve also discovered something else about me which is very actually very interesting. People here are very open. I like the fact that when you establish an eye contact you can at least hear “bonjour” or “ca va?”. But sometimes there is more. People start talking to you, asking questions and then inviting you or offering help especially when you travel. Then I realized that it makes me feel weird and I don’t like them being so open. I’m not that open for all this “activities”. It’s not about me being intolerant – I don’t have problems with this! I just feel really uncomfortable in such situations. I don’t trust people even though I know that they don’t want to hurt me, cheat me or something like that. When my Polish friends and me were in Berbers’ house I felt extremely weird. I just felt like leaving that place as soon as possible. I felt weird when e.g. he was showing pictures of his family. I know that there is nothing weird about that but this feeling was just somewhere inside of me. In the train to Fes a few days ago, a nice man started to talk to me. He was really nice but all the time I just wanted him to leave me. I didn’t feel like getting to know him or something. It’s not anything about Moroccans that make me feel like that. I just feel they enter my comfort zone and I’m not safe inside it. I guess that’s my mentality and the way I was brought up so it won’t be that easy to change it. Or maybe there’s no point in doing this. I need to keep some distance from certain people. I think it would be hard for me to live here for good.

Once I heard from my friend who was working in an AIESEC country in 2006/2007 that at first she was extremely enjoying here international experience but after 3 months she started seeing things differently and her excitement kind of disappeared. I couldn’t understand that. I thought that at the beginning you just start liking or disliking things and then nothing changes. I was so wrong. Maybe you just need 3 months to realize some things and starting being aware of them. Maybe it takes 3 months to explore the culture and find some things in it that you actually don’t like at all. Maybe some aspects that you enjoyed or at least knew about are tiring and not thrilling anymore. Maybe, you’re just being bored after a while. We’ll see how things will be. Challenges – as Cebula wrote they contribute to your growth. Still 282 days of possible challenges. So let’s move forward :)

Hollywood career?

Some time ago, I wrote about the power of networks (refer to post may these networks last forever). But the thing that I’m going to write you about has exceeded all my expectations. I could NEVER think that going to Morocco may result in such story and adventure!

So… I was offered to play in a movie :) A movie directed by … Ridley Scott. A movie with… Russel Crowe and Leo DiCaprio. I am not joking! I am not making fun of you. That’s totally true! The name of the movie is “Body of lies” and it’s an American production which will be partially made in Morocco.

What did I do to be offered such exciting opportunity? As usually in such networking cases – nothing :) You just have to unconsciously be in the right place, at the right time and among the right people. So I was. A friend of my flat mate happened to know someone from the production crew. And they need European/American looking people. Well, I definitely fulfill this requirement (people keep telling me that I’m blond! I hate it!). Yesterday, a guy responsible for finding extras (PL – statysci) came to our flat, took some picture of us and gave us some details. They will need us for a couple days (max 5 days however luckily not in a row but spread within the period of October and November). We don’t need to say anything – just be in the background. He also said to me that I would be a good person for playing soldier! (but they will need to cut my hair since it's quite long - I haven't cut it since I left Poland) :D They money they offered seems to be quite good as well. For 3 days of being actor I would get equivalent of my salary here. Of course my supreme goal is not making money but taking a picture with Russel or Leo :)

I don’t want to get excited (well, I guess it's too late... I'm already excited) before anything happens since it’s often that someone promises you something and then nothing happens. However, the guy told us that they needed a lot of Europeans/Americans and it was not easy to find them here so probably there would be no selection process. It seems we’re already in!

What more can I say? Post some comments :)

May these networks last forever!!!

Happy Ramadan!

Today is the first day of Ramadan (Arabic: رمضان). What does it mean?
Ramadan is the month of fasting, the ninth month in the Muslim calendar. Fasting is one of the 5 pillars of Islam and is considered the month of spirituality, charity and praying. The fasting people are not allowed to eat or drink from when the sun raises until it sets. Generally they should resist the temptations of all desires (food, drinking, kissing, sex etc). In the evenings after sunset, people get together, families gather and friends are invited to have the first meal of the day together, the iftar, that breaks the fast. It is usually a big home cooked dinner and everyone enjoys eating and being together. After sunset the streets, cafes, restaurants are just full of people – way more than usually.

Ok, this was the definition from my friend’s blog and from wikipedia. Now, some of my thoughts.

First of all, what I noticed that literally everyone takes it seriously! Since I got here I’ve met some people in Morocco that do not put a big stress about their religion, praying etc. But everyone that I know is going to fast during this month. I can see that it is really important for them.

Secondly, what does Ramadan mean for me? You can say I’m not Muslim so I shouldn’t care about that at all. Theoretically, it is true. However, I decided to try to fast – not the whole month but at least one full day or couple of them if I manage. And for sure, I will not eat in front of Muslims when they’re next to me or when I’m out. E.g. today – our cleaning lady comes at 10 AM, then I go for meeting with my MCP, then for French classes and I’m back at home after 5 PM. It means I won’t eat or drink anything between 10 AM and 5 PM. And since we have Tunisian person in the flat, maybe I will stop eating because he’s in the flat. Or at least I will do it so that he doesn’t see me. It's not about being fearful but about showing respect and not eating in front of person who is extremely hungry.

The fact that everyone speaks about Ramadan (either they are Muslims or not), the fact that everyone asks you whether you’re going to fast or not, the fact that you will feel a huge difference on the streets before and after sunset makes you feel the special atmosphere of this period. It’s not exactly the same but I can compare it to Christmas or Easter. It’s not about the customs since Catholic festivities are totally different that ones here. But both have this magical, special atmosphere that I just love. You can feel the spirit.

Today, is actually the first morning so I haven’t gone through a Ramadan day yet. I promise to share with you all my thoughts related to it as soon as they appear!

Happy Ramadan!

time goes by so quickly

Kojo (US)
Ida (US)
Tracy (US)
Daisy (US)
Alex (US)
Sadia (the Netherlands)
Christina (US)
Allen (US)
Cynthia (US)
Verena (Germany)
Suzanne (the Netherlands)
Sara (the Netherlands)
Katusha (the Netherlands)
Tess (Canada)
Naoufel (Morocco)

Who do you think are these people? They are my ex flat mates. Quite a lot, don't you think so? Why am I writing about it right now? It's because yesterday I became the person living here for the longest period of time. Right now, there is NO ONE who was here when I arrived. It's a bit challenging I must admit. You get to know people, get along with them, build relations, sometimes almost genuine friendships! I don't know if you imagine how fast you build this connection between you and others when you live together and spend so much time with each other... But then they leave... And new people come and leave, come and leave... ehhh

And as my wonderful counter shows it’s been more than 100 days since I got here. And still almost 300 to come. This is so unbelievable. Like my life recently!

I’m finishing – lack of words.

happy when working with people

Today, at work, I had two really cool meetings! I'm so satisfied and happy!

First one was with LCP (Local Committee President) from AIESEC in Casablanca. Before I tell you details, I will write about one thing. During IC in Turkey someone mentioned that people prefer to open new AIESEC countries because it's so cool to work in extensions whereas no one takes care of already existing countries that face huge challenges and problems. I had the same issue on Moroccan ground. I actually was expecting to become expansion manager in new city where there's no AIESEC at all right now. But instead I became LC coach of this low performing LC in Casa. I must admit that I was disappointed at the beginning a bit (I guess because of the reasons I pointed above). But later I thought that it's actually the same experience - either you open a new office in a new place or you do your best to maintain and develop an existing one. Both are challenging experiences. And both can give you a lot! As I said, today I had a meeting with LCP from LC in Casablanca. I just loved it! I’m so excited and positive about how things are gonna go! I had some ideas and solutions for challenges and I do believe we can implement it and make things go forward!

Second meeting was with my VPs Finance (my subordinates on local level). The purpose was to explain them new accounting system that I prepared. I was really happy to see them asking a lot of questions to understand it as much as possible. And they really praised my efforts to make things change for better in Morocco in terms of financial management. It was so great. I felt flattered! I’m also positive when it comes to this aspect.

Recently, I’ve felt really happy. I do the job that I enjoy, I spend time or I’m in touch with valuable people and I’m happy with someone special. And the future seems bright! :)

reviewing long term goals

On Sunday, when I was in Marrakesh, Morocco with my friends we had an interesting conversation. We were talking about decisions of youth in terms of what they want to do in their lives. Of course, it's not the first time that I think/talk about this issues. The conclusion is that usually people make short term decisions or they don't know how to make a good decision when it comes to their future. By the way, this is my inspiration how I could make impact in my society - this is an issue, a need that I could address by e.g. having my own company/NGO in the future.

And then I started thinking about my case. How was I making decisions? Were they good?

I joined AIESEC in 2003 - the same year when I started my studies. At that time, I was afraid of being unemployed after graduation and being stuck in small Sztutowo (my hometown in Poland) for whole my life. So, I decided to be as active during my studies as possible in order to have a better start in my life (we can say I wanted to have better CV). I heard that AIESEC sent students for internships so that was aspect factor that attracted me - gaining international experience. I didn’t plan to stay in AIESEC for long though.

Throughout past years a lot things have changed. My sources of motivation to be in AIESEC are different. And I’m still in AIESEC and what’s more I don’t know when I leave it :) Moreover, right now, I am in the Organization not only to have a better start in the future. I really want to have this impact in the society (that’s why I’ve identified an issue that I want to address – see above) and I want to develop people and help them in discovering their potential. I could never expect that this Organization will give me so much. Not only in terms of personal and professional development. Just imagine how many great people I’ve met – a few of them are my close friends (and one person a lot more :) )

As I told you one of the reason for me to join AIESEC was to go abroad for internship and prepare myself for the future. I recalled these goals at the very moment when I was having a coffee in the city of Marrakesh in North Africa and when I had almost no worries about oncoming future. 4 years ago, could I imagine sitting in a café in Marrakesh? It’s so extremely amazing when you review you long term goals and you finally realize that YOU HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN ACHIEVING THEM!! Having success seems not to require that much. You just need to know what you want and then everyday take small steps to achieve it. And if you don’t know what you want, believe me, that there are some techniques and ways of learning more about your passions and interests.

When I look at 4 past years of my life I feel extremely happy and I know I’ve been heading for the right future! What’s most important I feel successful in my personal and professional life! I do what I like and I’m among the right people!

:)

back in The Red City

This weekend, me and my dear Polish friends (Kinga and Konstancja) went for a weekend trip to Marrakesh. So... how was it? Sometimes great, sometimes tiring. Tiring not only because of hot weather or walking a lot in the narrow streets of the medina. I've recently realized that I am sometimes really tired of some aspects of local culture, customs and habits. Yes, I'm admitting that living in Morocco is sometimes exhausting.

What happened in Marrakesh? We were often "attacked" by shop keepers who were trying to get us to their shops, by "guides" who were offering their services, by taxi drivers who didn't want to turn on meters and prices that they were saying were of course higher than they would be with meters on, by e.g. orange juice seller who handed us a glass of juice as a gift. A gift for which you obviously have to pay! There were a few situations when we knew that people just want to get as much money from us as possible just because we’re tourists. Bleeeee… what an awful feeling. That’s why I didn’t enjoy the trip as much as I should.

But from the beginning…

At 7.45 AM on Saturday, we took a train from Rabat to Marrakesh. It took us 4 hours to get there. After a walk we had a coffee, found a cheap hotel and then went to the most famous square in the Medina and the city (Djemaa el Fna Square) full of cafes, shops, people with different animals (like snakes or monkeys) and henna women.



When we approached a group of snake wizards one of them seeing me invited me to the middle of the circle (or actually grabbed my hand and took me there), and put a snake on my neck. After a while there was another wizard with another snake that was on my neck in just a second. Surprisingly, I realized that I wasn’t afraid of snakes at all. I was more afraid of these wizards who “invaded” my comfort zone being too close to me. After taking pictures he asked for money – 100 dh (=1euro). I told him I wouldn’t give that much money and I’d give just 10 dh which is a coin but he kept saying “paper money, paper money”. Luckily, he didn’t feel like bargaining and he didn’t object when I gave him the coin of 10 dh. After we left the wizards I realized that… I had snake’s shit on my t-shirt (t-shit:) ) and on my arm… Well, I have never heard of snakes shitting on people so I felt sort of special that it happened to me. I didn’t care about that and I just assumed that it would bring a lot of good luck :)


Then we had orange juice story… The rest of the day we spent on random walking in the Medina until late evening, buying things from time to time and experiencing tiring bargaining, or saying “no thank you / no, merci” to people who wanted to “help us”. In the evening, we went to Theatro – a cool, expensive (15euro entrance fee!!) and posh nightclub that I went to in June as well. The place itself was really cool but the music could be a bit better. To get there we had to take a taxi and it was then that the taxi driver didn’t want to turn on the meter and he charged us more than it would normally be.


On Sunday again, we did some random sightseeing of Royal Palace neighborhood and some shopping with bargaining in order not to pay exorbitant prices! At some point, we met a Berber man who invited us at his place, showed us pictures of his family, did a massage of our arms using sort of oil (I guess it was a Berber specialty) served some tea with a lot of spices (so delicious!) and let girls wear his wife’s clothes. That was really cool!


Then, we finally took the train home to Rabat. I’m saying “finally” because it was the thing I was dreaming of the whole day. And now, I’m almost sleeping in my bed and right now I don’t need anything to be happy :)

Although, I’m not so positive about talking tonight about weekend in Marrakesh, what Konstancja said to me today in the taxi was totally true! She told me “Although you’re sometimes pissed off because of different things happening or not happening here you will be really happy at the end of your stay here that you have had the chance of living one year in Morocco”. I totally agree!