love and hate relationship

I think I have never directly mentioned the only serious relationship that I have had here. It is a very toxic relationship. It is love and hate relationship. I am not the only one who has such a thing here. There is more of us who have to deal with ups and downs of this bizarre thing. On June 2, me and my partner celebrated our first anniversary. I was happy that 2008 was a leap-year because it gave us one extra day to love each other. Or to hate each other. Do you know who I am speaking about?

It is me and Morocco. It was love at first sight. We were very happy at the beginning but then things got a bit complicated. We had serious problems around 6 months ago and I was almost about to break up but in the end I decided to give it a chance although people were asking me why I wanted to stay in a relationship that was constantly making me unhappy. Luckily it got much better soon after that. It was fabulous.

You would like to hear "and they lived happily ever after" but it is not the case here. As many people say nothing can last forever. Yesterday around 2 AM, I was on the train back to Rabat thinking of the last days I would spend in Morocco (or with Morocco). I was listening to my mp3 player when it suddenly played Nelly Furtado's "All good things come to an end". There was no better moment but then to hear this song.

As I have just said my relationship with Morocco is kind of mix of feelings. Sometimes I love it and cannot start thinking of leaving. Sometimes I hate it. There are days when me and Morocco have a good time, but on the other hand sometimes we are just fed up with each other thinking of a divorce. But I am sure that by the end, Morocco will be crying and cursing me for my betrayal with Belgium... However, even if I manage to have a long term relationship with Belgium I am sure I will have a small love affair with Morocco from time to time or a one night stand (since the flights are so cheap)... For sure, Morocco will have a special place in my heart and I will always think of it as my exotic lover. Out of all my loves that I have had in my short life I think this one is the first real and the true one. And one never forgets their true love.

But as I have mentioned it is a love and hate relationship. So then, it has to be a toxic relationship. Not a healthy one at all. And no matter how much you love, you have to finish it before it changes you in a bad way and negatively affects you. And so will it happen within the few next days. There will be a break-up. After more than a year of a passionate relationship the break-up is for sure going to be painful. There is going to be tears and crying. There is going to be a drama! Life is never going to be the same anymore afterwards.

But! This time, we will remain friends. It is so difficult to be friends after a love and hate relationship. We will succeed however and most probably we will even be friends with benefits (if you know what I mean:)

Le Maroc! Je t'adore!!!

PS and that's what my mp3 player played while writing this post:

It must have been love, but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without
It must have been love, but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows

It must have been love, but it's over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out