I am not myself... but you are not yourself

"des amis et de martini - la seule façon de survivre Pologne"
This is the title of one of my Facebook albums pubilshed just after I got back to Poland and it means "friends and martini - the only way to survive Poland". The alcohol part is to some extent a joke (only to some extent:) of course but the friends no. Or at least I hoped so.

One of my friend who left Morocco for Poland a few weeks before me (having been there for slightly less than me) said she had lost most of her Polish friends when she came back to the country. It scared me because I didn't want to go thru the same. Hopefully, I'm not going to such an extent. However, I have noticed that it's not the same anymore. It's not the same as it used to be in the pre-Moroccan era.

I came back and I'm different than a year ago. I can't handle the country (it's better now though). Few people (or maybe no one?) here can really understand what I went thru even if they read my blog or heard the news directly from me. You must have just been there to know it. And my friends have probably changed in some ways as well. Or even if they haven't, they seem different to me probably because I look at them in a different way usually comparing with people I met in Morocco. And they have to deal with the different me which I won't be able to understand as well probably. It's not the case with all the people... hamdullah

Sometimes, I simply don't care but I wish I did...

And I really don't know what I should do...